The Wall Labelled “Failure”

My life has always been a rather ongoing journey of experiences, learning something new, awakening to a deeper understanding of self and life and love. All along there was a consistent thread of “same” mixed into the new. It seemed as though, while learning and growing and transforming into my true self, who I desire to become, there was a solid wall of what I’m not allowed, a space I should not go. The more I tried, the taller and wider that wall seemed to get.

The wall was labelled “FAILURE” and I was clear I didn’t want to go anywhere near it. I played a safe game. I’d take small risks, but even then they weren’t really risks — because I’d put my own safety net in place before taking the perceived risk on. So in any case there was no real risk. Knowing there was no risk made it a lot easier for me to not really try or to now really grow. I knew I could fall safely, so why worry about really holding on?

Until last summer. That’s when the wall itself transformed. Last summer my dad was shot and killed. He was only 8 months away from retirement and from finally getting to have all the free time he wanted to live life on his terms and do all the things he’d wanted to. It was then that I realized that all the things I truly desire for my life are on the other side of the wall. I also realized that there is no safety net I can create or put in place to ensure that I won’t die unexpectedly before I get to that life I desire. At that point, the wall was no longer “FAILURE” — it was now labelled “EXPERIENCE”.

All this time I’ve been shying away from and avoiding failure EXPERIENCE, when really, that’s what I want! I cannot create the life I’ve dreamed of if I have no experience with how to create it or what it would look or feel like! And so I began getting acquainted with failure EXPERIENCE. It was last summer when I sold all my furniture and most of my possessions, ended the lease on my beautiful apartment in downtown Milwaukee, packed up my car and headed to California. All I knew at the time was that I was meant to be in California, it had been on my heart since I was a small child. I didn’t have a place to live nor a job there, but something within me knew that was where I needed to go.

And so I went. The adventures began. The failures EXPERIENCES grew. I grew. I learned. I met so many wonderful people. I fell in love. I began traveling the globe. I claimed my place in the global nomad community. And about 9 months ago, LezBeNomads was conceived… a passion to create a space for myself to find my community. A community of people who have a passion to be truly who they are from within, releasing the expectations of the world and society around them, following their hearts, loving deeply and uniquely within each failure EXPERIENCE of this lifetime.

Are you my community? Do you desire to connect deeply and wholly with others as you grow through your failures EXPERIENCES? Do you want to fail EXPERIENCE at a higher level? And have a community that supports you through each failure EXPERIENCE, to catch you when you feel like you’re falling, to pick you back up and dust you off and cheer you on? Then come, join me. Join US! Share what you’re up to either here in the comments or join our LezBeNomads Facebook Group!

Originally published at Lez Be Nomads.