Lemon Accounting 🍋
My lemon month
I got fifteen lemons in the mail from a California friend with a lemon tree.
This is what I did with them.
Gave two lemons to the librarian who recycled all my lemon packing box material since I picked up the lemon box at the post office and had to walk home. She also gave me a cookbook with a few lemon recipes. Now I have thirteen lemons.
I gave two lemons to my landlady who lent me a reamer, let me use her microwave, and who always leaves little treats for me on the stairs. Now I have eleven lemons.
I used one lemon for practice. Squirted some into my Diet Coke and my ersatz powdered lemonade. Now I have ten lemons.
I used one lemon to make a lemon butter chicken of my own devising. Now I have nine lemons.
Two lemons for a blueberry lemon pound cake which, to be honest, could have been even lemonier. Now I have seven lemons.
I made some more juice with the reamer.
I wrote a secret message with this lemon juice. Will try revealing the message at home first before using this technique to send a message to a young friend.
Used the leftover secret message juice in a lemon sugar scrub (I am so sure I will regret bringing a slippery glass jar into the tub but here I go). Now I have six lemons.
Cut up all the lemon rinds and added some vinegar to make some future cleaning solution. Now I still have six lemons.
Juiced one lemon in anticipation of making a dutch baby.
Dutch baby came out all that and then some.
But it really didn’t use much lemon juice, so I had some left over to figure out what went wrong with my invisible ink. It didn’t turn brown over a warm light bulb, so I tried heating it over a stove burner and that just scorched the paper.
Second attempt, following instructions a little more closely (added water).
It worked! Mostly. I skipped the in-between image, where it just looked like a piece of paper. Now I have five lemons.
Went for a walk with a friend who always appreciates tasty fruit and has been a good person for feeding me vegetables and/or tea when I come to visit. I thought she would appreciate a lemon. Now I have four lemons.
Made some coconut lemon chicken on top of some lemon basil quinoa. Now I have three and a half lemons.
Used real lemon juice instead of terrible supermarket lemon juice in my applesauce. Maybe I’m fooling myself but I think it tastes better. Now I have three lemons.
Lemon garlic pasta was pretty good but maybe could have been even more lemony. Now I am down to two lemons.
It is ten days later. I have finally finished the pound cake. I have finally finished the pasta. I have finally finished the applesauce. My lemon vinegar cleaner is smelling amazing. The lemon coconut sugar scrub I made is chunky but basically great.
I put the last two lemons in the fridge a while ago. They are looking a little rough. I remember my friend the Lemon Pig…
I try a few things. My lemon pig looks morose.
My circus pig looks even worse.
Lemon mouse says “Why would you do this to me?”
This thing is a blob. What is a good blob animal? I know… a lemon tardigrade!
Wait, don’t they have no eyes? Perfect!
I will play with it every day. Now I have one lemon.
I went away for vacation and came back to the tardigrade looking a little rough. Still smells good though.
However the weather is great and Spring is in the air. I remember a thing I used to do in high school, back when I met the friend who gave me these lemons. I have one pretty good looking lemon left in the fridge.
I slice it up. I am maybe going a little grey in the temples. I do the thing we did in high school where you rub a lemon into your hair so it will lighten up “naturally” while you spend the whole summer outside. I spent a lot of my high school summers at least partially outside with my lemon-giving friend.
Now I have no lemons. But I have a story. Thank you Lauren.