And Why Hearing People Say They Love Themselves Might Piss You Off
Have you ever struggled to connect to the people around you, while at the same time yearning to be seen for who you really are? Longing to connect in a way that feels truly meaningful? As I sit here, alone and in quarantine, it occurs to me how many of us have been quarantined in our minds for much longer than covid-19 has been floating around.
Connecting with others isn’t a physical thing. Many of us are familiar with feeling deeply lonely in a room full of people. In many ways, those we’re closest to can also be those we struggle to connect with the most. And think I’ve figured out why.
You have to connect with yourself first
I spent years feeling deeply unhappy and, when I look back, I realise I was waiting to be rescued. I wanted somebody else to save me from my pain because I didn’t know how to relieve myself of it. It’s only through years of therapy and deep introspection that I really understand, in an embodied way (because it’s not exactly a difficult intellectual concept) the importance of loving yourself first.
Yet the idea of loving yourself can make you feel icky. We’re conditioned to not love ourselves. We’re taught to stay small and humble, to be selfless. And…
