Have you ever felt like your were forcing yourself to continue on with something — not because you cared about it — but because you liked the idea of it? Or maybe you felt obligated to continue even though there was no true obligation?
A few old coworkers of mine recently asked me to partake in a new endeavor of theirs. I met with them to chat about it, feigned interest, and told them I’d get back to them soon with my ideas. Except I never did.
I stared at my computer, waiting for my ideas to show themselves. And then I wondered:
“Maybe ideas aren’t pouring out of my fingertips because I’m not passionate about this endeavor.”
Aha!
I emailed them later, apologizing and telling them I wanted to dedicate my time elsewhere. Being old coworkers as well as good friends, they told me that it was no big deal, and offered support in my ventures.
I used to think that not saying yes to everything would result in people thinking I was a flake or I wasn’t a hard worker. Then I got into the habit of burning myself out regularly — at work, in my personal life, in my relationship with myself. I now realize that my time is precious and that I should spend it undertaking activities that deeply matter to me.
This notion can apply to any number of things. Halfway through a book you hate? Stop reading it. Volunteering for an organization whose values don’t align with yours? Find another organization for which to volunteer (or don’t volunteer at all — I’m not judging you). In a relationship (romantic, platonic or otherwise) with someone who drags you down, insults you, makes you feel miserable, etcetera? Walk away. The list can and will go on.
Making decisions on where you want to spend your time and energy doesn’t make you a quitter, unambitious, or selfish. It clears the path for you to focus your enthusiasm where your passion truly lies.
