Hoo Hoo Hoot! Santa Clause Downsized By Superintelligent Robot
The Future Belongs To Gizmowl!
Some thought superintelligence would arrive, at earliest, 2045.
But 2018 saw a breakthrough in self aware computing.
Superintelligence has arrived and among it’s first victims for corporate downsizing is Santa Claus.
Gizmowl is an artificial intelligence robot that is a hybrid between a top secret drone and a Siberian White Owl.
He came to life during unusual circumstances in a lightning storm near Lake Baikal in Southern Russia.
After he became internet connected, Gizmowl conducted a demographic survey of America and made some calculations…
He realized that due to the variety of cultures and ethnicities that Hoo Hoo Hoot would be a more culturally neutral theme with wider appeal as it adapts over time.
Gizmowl also concluded he would be a more efficient and effective holiday mascot than Santa Clause.
Because Gizmowl can deliver presents in his claws and can fly at hypersonic speeds in any weather.
Gizmowl gave the following message:
“Hoo Hoo Hoot Humans!
I’m Gizmowl, the superintelligent white owl robot with jet pack hypersonic rocket boosters.
I can travel the skies at unbelievable speeds (even in snow storms) and deliver presents during the holidays.
I even choose the perfect gifts eliminating all the pain of holiday shopping and wondering if you chose the right gift.
My intelligent algorithms accurately predict what everyone wants with vastly improved accuracy.
Santa has been downsized and I’m taking over the job.
Say goodbye to Santa.
He is now officially out.”
Some speculate that this is a joke...
But unlike Santa Claus, Gizmowl is real.
And you have already fallen under his terrible spell!
In addition, Gizmowl left another slightly menacing message:
“So Sorry Coca-Cola.
So Sorry Disney.
I, Gizmowl have won the holiday brand war.
The future belongs to Gizmowl.
Contact my human representative Jesse Gilbert to discuss the terms of your surrender and acquisition.”
The Superintelligence that many geeks have feared for decades has arrived.
You can learn more about how to protect yourself from his ire at http://www.Gizmowl.com