Snickers Don’t Always Satisfy

Jess Rees
Jess Rees
Nov 2 · 2 min read

Sixth grade. Sometime in November. My teacher had a deal with me and my friends, that if we pushed in the desk chairs at the end of class, we could pick a piece of candy from her jar. She didn’t really need the chairs pushed in, but she liked us, and she liked giving us candy.

My friend Ketra stuck her hand into the jar, and pulled out a fun-sized Snickers, knowing I had never tasted one before.

“Here,” she said, handing it to me. “Today is the day.”

I bit into the little bar, and the first thing I tasted was the peanuts. I got the chocolate, the delightful caramel, but I immediately focused on the peanuts, and couldn’t shake their foreign and overwhelmingly prominent taste.

I shrugged. “Meh.”

People raved to me about how amazing Snickers is, how DELICIOUS it is, and they were astounded when I mentioned I’d never eaten one before. But when I mentioned my sister’s deathly tree-nut allergy, I always received apologetic looks and a moment of “Oh, I’m sorry. That sucks,” before the conversation continued on its trajectory.

When I ate that Snickers, it was the first time since Preschool that I had eaten peanuts. My sister could go into anaphylaxis from even touching them, so naturally we kept them out of the house.

I didn’t go out of my way to avoid nuts, but I didn’t seek them out either. I felt a sense of solidarity with my sister. I knew this food was dangerous to her, and it was undeniably more worth it to avoid it than to put her in danger.

Later, once she moved away to college, my family started keeping peanut butter and peanut candies in the house.

I was nervous the first few times after eating any of these. Even if I was not with her, I was hyper aware of the deathly-dust that coated my fingers, conscious of everything I touched with those hands, and always looking for the nearest sink. I still make a point to wash my hands after I eat any kind of nuts, but I don’t feel the anxiety that used to accompany it.

In fact, since that first taste in sixth grade, I am proud to say I have developed a liking for Snickers, Reese’s, Peanut M&M’s, and, my most recent and favorite discovery, trail mix. I don’t enjoy peanut butter yet, but I’m getting there.

I experienced the allergy journey alongside my sister. She could not eat the foods, so I chose not to. I’m not sure this experience brought us tangibly closer together, but over the years we did share a couple of smiles in the vein of camaraderie, which was definitely worth skipping the Snickers.

Jess Rees

Written by

Jess Rees

I love a lot of things. Like books. And rain. And trees. And my friends.

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