It’s the sound of a million different voices and the moment you realize they all belong to you…they always have.

Photo by SHINE TANG on Unsplash

If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve experienced it before. Perhaps you have a loved one who struggles with it; a collegue who takes medication to try and control it; a friend who talks about it like a secret they’re afraid others will discover.

It used to confuse me. I wanted to understand this mysterious thing I heard discussed in private. My friends who dealt with it — they didn’t seem to want to undesrstand it. They just wanted it to…


Last night I had one of those dreams-you know the kind that when you wake up it takes you a bit of time to realize it didn’t actually happen? The problem with this one was that it had. Different people were involved and the location had changed, but I had been through it all before. It wasn’t a moment I wanted to relive.

In the dream, I was with my boyfriend and one of his close friends. They had been drinking pretty heavily and his friend was a lot more drunk than my boyfriend was.

In reality, it had been…


My struggle after abuse.

It was a nice evening. I spent my day celebrating my birthday with family and was able to go out with friends in the evening. I was feeling happy and light — like there wasn’t a thing that could come between me and the smile on my face. We were all meeting up at the bar I had worked at for some time, happy to hang out there as it was the best place in town to get together with a group. …


How important is sex to the health of my relationship?

When I was in college, a friend of mine told me that she didn’t really like sex. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Wait, are you kidding?” I asked, genuinely expecting her to admit that her previous statement had in fact been a joke. Instead, what came out of her mouth was this: “No. I really sort of hate it.”

Rewind a couple of years to when I had sex for the first time. I was making out with my boyfriend in his apartment. One thing led to another…


Photo by Grace Madeline on Unsplash

“I never understand why the people who like me actually like me. I don’t see myself through other peoples eyes — I see myself through my own.”

Reading something I wrote only a short time ago, I am reminded that these feelings I have struggled with this week are not new. They are deep within me, waiting to be breathed new air at the first sign of stress or unhappiness. They are forgotten when they are silent, but when they are not they consume me.

This is depression.

This is anxiety.

These are insecurities that I feel in every part…


Every December, even the least introspective people often find themselves thinking back on everything that happened over the past year. Some of you think about all the good things that happened, while others are stuck dwelling on everything that went wrong. Inevitably, these sorts of thoughts bring us to the thing that always leaves a bad taste in my mouth: New Year’s Resolutions.

As people dwell on all of their mistakes from the previous year, they make a promise to do better next year. With the rise of social media and this need to share every little thing with the…

Jesse Swanson

It is my hope that through writing about what life has taught me I may teach someone else.

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