This was my response to someone who has unhealthy relationship attachments.

A girl was broken up with and asked for advice

J
J
Sep 3, 2018 · 2 min read

Hi there, I feel you completely. There is someone I dated in my past that when we broke up, it was truly amicable. I was in the process of getting sober and I was so toxic that I had to end things, even though he was willing to stick it out. We have absolutely unconditional love for each other and from time to time, text each other. None of it is romantic, but he is someone I feel the safest I ever have in my life, and I think that speaks volumes as to how healthy (even though I was unhealthy) it was. I don’t know if he’s my soulmate. But I know we are riding parallel lives down the universe at this moment in time. Maybe we’ll cross paths again, who knows, but I absolutely adore and respect him. He will forever have a special place in my heart, even if he marries someone else. (And it’s come to light over time that I don’t think we would have worked out had we continued dating)

Remember, love is freedom. Love is the ability to let people go to let them grow themselves. The tighter one grasps at something, the more likely both things will end up hurting. The fact that he is able to recognize what you need (even if you can’t recognize it yourself) and give you time to heal is one of the most loving actions anyone can take. Even if you do not get back together (and who the HELL knows what happens), just take it one day at a time and really work on yourself NOT because you think if you do you will get back together with him, but because you legitimately want to work on it for yourself.

If you do this for him, you will create a disaster that will take you years to recover from… trust me, I made that mistake.

I really recommend getting this book to start out (link below). I have a lot of the same issues (never being single, always in a relationship, etc). The first 20 pages was life changing for me.

I WISH I had someone at 21 tell me this was what was going on. You will discover so much of your own self over the next few months/years/lifetime. Really, congratulations. It might be painful, but pain just means you have the opportunity to get stronger.

This is probably the most useful and meaningful thing that I can say about this recovery process: if you just let the universe unfold in front of you, you will discover yourself in the most beautiful journey, and you’ll find the most incredible people, hear the most emotional stories, and uncover a life that most people don’t get the opportunity to.

Best of luck, don’t fear the unknown, embrace it with all of your heart.

https://www.amazon.com/Facing-Love-Addiction-Giving-Yourself/dp/0062506048/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1535596447&sr=8-1&keywords=facing+love+addiction+by+pia+melody

J

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J

This is just a phase. So is the next one. And the next one.

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