Tool Man.

Sometimes, I like to write raps.

J
J
Jul 24, 2017 · 1 min read

Tim Allen the dad we wish we had
Thursday evenings full of fam.
ABC 7? Oh shit, don’t change the chan–
nel. Flannel. 2×4 foot panels.
Like Fentanyl. Straight dopamine, two granules.

Tim the tool man. He’s too cool man.
Improving my house. Improving the spouse.
Improvising the improvements of the great state of hella lakes. How many? 10 thous–
And no wait, that’s Minnesota.
Okay. Start over, eh.

He pure. Like the Michigan.
Like the Columbian bam bam
He tried to smuggle in.
Man of a million choices and voices
Never for a second wasn’t joyous
To talk to his half-faced neighbor and the fence:
A division of belabor’d —
advice

90’s dad hair we fond of
JTT show son we fawned ov’r
Handy man, beer can, manly bond, named whatever.
Tim Allen. Tim Taylor. Mike Baxter.
To infinity and beyond. Yeah. Forever.

Auueuuhhh

With love & whateverthefuckthisis,
~Jess

Jess Churchill is a writer-and-human-in-progress. About eight months ago, she gave up on the system in place and has been searching for one that makes sense, so she moved to Bulgaria and is watching the West implode from afar. She started questioning everything about life and decided to do what any troubled human being would, start an advertising agency that does 100% pro bono work for non-profits. Catch her on Instagram making a fool out of herself and posting some terrible art.

Written by

J

This is just a phase. So is the next one. And the next one.

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