Why I Set Aside Time to Cry

Don’t hold back [but be reasonable about it]

You know how you need to pee for, well, obvious reasons?

Remember what it feels like to have that sweet, sweet release after doing the pee-pee dance while frantically searching for your keys to unlock the front door and making a mad dash to your bathroom?

Crying is like peeing, but for the soul. What a weird fucking analogy.

No seriously though, imagine the damage you could do to your body by holding back your pee. Now, when you choke those tears back, imagine that’s what you’re doing to your poor brain.

I could get into the scientific specifics of it, but the pee-cry comparison is way more entertaining.

For the record, I cry maybe twice a month. The last time I cried was last night. I got super emotional while cooking eggs. I just let the tears fly (in a sanitary way) and afterward, I really enjoyed those eggs.

Here’s the pattern I noticed when I cry:

First of all, you start thinking of all this bullshit you’ve gone through (thinking about the past/depression/how much time you’ve wasted/how you’re not where you want to be in life (and/or something that immediately just happened of course)). You’ll feel the little froggy in your throat come out to say hai and some foggy tears swell in the corners of your eyes. Get ready! One of two things can happen: You can either cry about it (not in a Sylvester Stalone voice), or feel stressed out because you’ve decided to suppress your body’s natural reaction to stress and not release the pain.

Next steps: 
Stressing generally makes you angry
Crying generally makes you happy

Stressing:
1. Flood of thoughts and emotions start swelling
2. Fight back tears and continue on what you’re doing
3. Keep thinking about it
4. Keep thinking about it
5. Keep thinking about it
6. Sleep
7. Keep thinking about it

Crying: 
1. Flood of thoughts and emotions start swelling
2. Go ahead — start the blubbering :)
3. Silently sob, fetal position acceptable
4. About 5–10 minutes later you’ll run out of tears
5. Sit in a daze for about 30 minutes, breathe deeply and regroup [EDIT: the time length will vary on how big of a change of event it was, IE rejected from a job, enh 10 minutes; break up? probably days-weeks, depending on how long your relationship was. Thanks Tom!]
6. When you start doing anything, for some reason (now it’s time for the internal monologue by Sylvester Stalone ), it’ll feel really good to just do something else than wallowing. 
7. You’ll be, well, happy, until some other bullshit starts weighing down on you. That’s why you should enjoy every moment of that happiness. Because it too shall pass.

At Acceptance — Cryyyyyyyy

So — what are you waiting for?

Let yourself get a good cry in maybe once every two weeks. Set aside a time, preferably alone (heh), and give yourself about 30 minutes to cry over everything that’s bothering you.

Feel the pain. *Bonus points for not reaching for a drink* Don’t be afraid of feeling (that’s what living is for). And then enjoy the endorphin rush afterwards. You’ll feel better and you probably will have let some shitty shit shit go. Pick your environment carefully, obviously (don’t do this in the grocery store), but don’t hold back when you feel the weight of the world on you (do this in the parking lot of the grocery store). You need to relieve the pressure, or it will continue to weigh on you.

Afterwards, practice the thought of not expecting your life to go perfectly. Because when we start to have expectations in life, it’s usually what sets us up for absolute disaster and disappointment.

With love & going with the flow,
~Jess

Jess Churchill is a writer-and-human-in-progress. About eight months ago, she gave up on the system in place and has been searching for one that makes sense, so she moved to Bulgaria and is watching the West implode from afar. She started questioning everything about life and decided to do what any troubled human being would, start an advertising agency that does 100% pro bono work for non-profits. Catch her on Instagram making a fool out of herself and posting some terrible art.