5 years of Lessons Post Open Heart Surgery

Before and After Surgery

Fresh out of college with a world of opportunity surrounding me, fate certainly had other plans. I was diagnosed with an athlete’s worst nightmare, Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM). Luckily for me, also having had congenital heart disease my entire life, I never did actually quite make the cut for being the number one runner. Perhaps this even saved me a trip to heavens gates sooner than I would have wanted. Just as the Grinch had at the end of the book, his heart grew 3 sizes too big. I too, having HCM, have an enlarged heart.

Soon after this diagnosis, I found out I needed open heart surgery from my congenital heart disease causing a higher pressure in one of my chambers.

Still with me?

Heart disease equals really awful lifestyle for anyone looking to live a “normal” life.

At 23, I had open heart surgery. Since I had fluid around my heart, I needed a second surgery for a grand total of 3 weeks in the hospital.

At 24, while I was starting my masters degree for special education and interning in a fourth grade classroom, I needed a defibrillator put in as a precautionary.

At 25, my defibrillator paced my heart because I ran for the train. Good ol’ NJ transit, only running every hour or so.

At 28, it’s been 5 years since my initial open heart surgery. 5 years of lessons. Take to heart a few things I literally got from the heart.

1. Time is not in our favor. I have sat in a hospital bed and fought long and hard to remember a time when I was not sick. I sought comfort in the future that may or may never come. Life’s daily struggle of making time for ourselves is beyond important. We never know what will happen to us, to our loved ones, or to the world around us. Time is not something we can control. Make the most of the time you have.
2. Love yourself and all of your flaws. As I try on wedding gowns and see my battle scars that I have earned on the operating table, I see the strength that I have gained over the years. Whether it’s stretch marks from food that feeds the soul, dark marks from the sleepless nights of stress, or surgical scars that prove a greater strength that you didn’t know you had, know that each mark both internally and externally have made you become the person you are. Wear these scars with pride and love.
3. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and continue to make. We are not perfect. We are not meant to be. Along those lines, forgive the people around you for their mistakes. We are all human and our faults are what make us who we are and who we are meant to be.
4. Surround yourself often with people who love you and you, them. If life has taught me anything, we sometimes believe that we really have more time to spend with those whom we love. We don’t. Make the time to be with those who matter most. I guarantee it won’t be something you regret.
5. Finally, do not be afraid to fail. The difference between those who fail and stop and those who succeed, are those who succeed were not afraid to fail.

Despite my health ups and downs, I am thankful for so much I have in my life.

Nobody ever guaranteed us 80 happy years circling around the sun. We do with it what we can. Whether you live another day, another month, or another 50 years, make sure when you look back, that you’re proud of the life you lived.