Yeah I can’t do that — thoughts from a plus size yogi

I have had to take a step back from fitness, which is ironic considering I’m the founder of a fitness company.

Sometimes, we all need to take a step back. And, you know what that’s ok. It’s a revolutionary act of self-care to say ‘No’.

Fitness is an unforgiving mistress. The reality is that it takes a long time to build up your fitness levels and a maddening short amount of time to lose those hard fought gains.

Before my ‘break’ with fitness, I did yoga a few times a week. Yoga is one of my favourite exercises in the world. Yoga is not for everyone — but it is something I do that’s just for me. I strongly believe that fitness should be joyful and Yoga is one of my true joys in life.

I had to take a 6 week break from Yoga after I had surgery. I was so incredibly excited to go back to Yoga post surgery I was begging my surgeon to clear me.

The first time I did yoga, I did a video that I have done at least 20 times. And I couldn’t finish it. Devastated and went straight back to bed crying. Defeated. Have you ever felt like this? It was SOOOOOOO demoralising.

But, this is the reality of taking a step back.

It takes 1 to 2 weeks to lose cardio fitness and 2–3 weeks to lose resistance strength. As a soon to be Fitness professional, I know this. But, just because I know this doesn’t mean that I’m immune to the negative self-talk that comes from not achieving my goal.

The fitness industry is not known for being a friendly, warm or welcoming environment. Which is odd, because endorphins make you happy and in the famous words of Elle Woods of Legally Blonde fame, “happy people don’t kill their husbands”.

If you haven’t seen ‘Legally Blonde’, (no judgement but you absolutely should, it’s amazing), let me add a few things about what we can learn from Elle Woods. And yes, I’m unapologetically posting spoilers here as the movie is 20 years old today.

Back to ‘Legally Blonde’, the main character, Elle Woods is constantly judged because of who she is and how she looks. She is Blonde, chirpy and fashion obsessed. Yes, Elle Woods is privileged, being rich, white and thin. But, who of us haven’t been judged by how they look? As a plus-size woman I have felt judged. I have felt too intimidated to walk into a gym, too intimidated to post my new workouts on my fitness channel. This feeling, of not being enough, not being worthy, this isn’t new to any of us. I felt the exact same way when I couldn’t finish my absolute favourite workout video when I tried it again after 6 weeks off.

I wish I had the magic cream that could be the solution to not beating yourself up when you set an unrealistic goal for yourself. Trust me, if I did, I’d be selling that snake oil all over town from a beach on Hawaii while eradicating world poverty and homelessness (of course).

The best I can do is offer advice that years of therapy and an embarrassing amount of self-help books can give you. It is unrealistic and unkind to yourself to expect to run a marathon when you haven’t run around the block in a month. Instead of magically expecting you to be where you are before your break, honour your body where it is today. Every step is a step in the right direction. Just because today you can’t do the exercise, the tabata class, the step challenge doesn’t mean you won’t ever be able to.

Remember, Elle Woods didn’t graduate from Harvard Law School in a day. Don’t expect yourself to be a gym crushing, fitness machine in a day.

And I hope by giving this advice to you all, I will begin to listen to it myself.

Jessica is the founder of Jigglehub.com.