Break the shell
Early on in life we begin forming defense mechanisms and building walls. As children, we hold on to hurtful comments from parents, being rejected and hurt by friends, being left out, not feeling like you’re good enough, smart enough and these thoughts grow into actions. They grow into our reactions to life situations as adults. It affects our parenting style, the way we view friendships, and the way we aim for and view success in life. Personally, I built so many walls to prevent myself from being hurt by people. This greatly affected my friendships. I became such a nonchalant person and it always came off as if I didn’t care, which was only partially true.
I eventually trained myself to not care at all and that was not a good friendship trait to have. Thankfully, somewhere along the way I realized that I was only hurting myself. So many of us are so afraid to really live. We are not being our best selves or experiencing life at its best. We are trapped behind walls of fear, anger, and resentment. We’re living in the past but suffering in the present. Not only do we build walls, but we have been trained as a society to follow the crowd and do things that look good on the outside but might not feel good or feel right on the inside. How are you going to have a successful relationship if you are holding on to disappointments from your old relationships? How are you going to really give something your best if you doubt yourself before you even start?
I completely understand bracing yourself for life disappointments because life isn’t all sunshine and roses but why not live as if it is? It doesn’t hurt to expect the best!
To be honest, I have come a mighty long way, but learning to be fearless, to expect the best and to “just go for it” is definitely on my daily to-do list. What do I mean by “go for it”? I mean to really live fearlessly. To not worry about what other have to say. To really go after that dream or goal. To not think about why something won’t work but think about all the reasons why it will.
To live without talking myself out of what I really want.
In order to live a fulfilling life, we have to break out of the shell of insecurities and defense mechanisms and just go for it- break the shell!
- Neglected Dreams: Lessons on overcoming disappointment and doing God’s will. pg. 200