I Love Hillary

I can honestly agree with Lena Dunham. Early on in this election I went through a political streak where I was engaging with others (primarily Sanders fans) on why I loved Hillary, but I found that it was unhealthy for various reasons and for my own peace of mind decided it was in my best interest to “dial it down” on my own political leanings or at least to stop engaging so actively.

Recently a shooting occurred very close to my grandma’s house and it’s brought up a lot of depression and anxiety about the state of our country and the world we exist in. My grandma is wiser and more zen than me and so advised me to write about my feelings instead of holding them inside since “words have more power than ammunition” as she put it. I don’t expect my words have more power in that they most likely can’t kill other humans, but I wouldn’t want them to do that anyway. I’d hope my words could be the antidote — healing people and maybe encouraging a vision of a world with less senseless violence.

That’s what this post is for me, just an outlet.

I understand that part of the reason this election is so heated is because many of us are suffering in different ways and see different politicians as the answer to our vision of the future.

For me Hillary has always been that, for many reasons. Gun control is an issue I’m particularly sensitive about and want to see immediate action taken on and I’ve always been appreciative of her stances on the issue and her plan to make change. The recent events in my grandma’s neighborhood had me reflecting on the desperateness I feel for our country to become a better place. I thought of the ways in which Hillary represents that hope to me, and how I often feel further depression because of the ways in which my passion for her has been written-off as naive as best and “privileged” at worst.

I see in this election a lot of conspiracies about “the media” and “the establishment” and how this election is “rigged”. But there are others like me out there, is the thing. People who actually voted (or will vote, like I will in the CA election) for her. There is hopefully a reason she has been so successful this far that isn’t because we live in a corrupt world. It might be because there are fellow Americans who actually believe in her message just as much as Bernie supporters believe in his. There might actually be citizens who have the same passion for her and are going out to support her. I know this because I am at least one of them, and I have met a few more like me. We exist. Hopefully this is at least somewhat encouraging to Sanders’ fans, because ultimately it just means that there are other people who likewise believe in a better future and are proactively taking actions to help make it happen.

I’m writing this because I am tired of the narrative that preferring Hillary over Bernie means you aren’t progressive or that you don’t believe in “the revolution”. I do believe in the revolution. Or as America Ferrera put it “the evolution”. I just see her as the leader of that revolution.

I have also been exhausted by the in-fighting in the democratic party. I honestly can say that I feel like this election has strained some of my friendships in strange ways and I’ve been further depressed by the ways in which I feel like I am growing apart from people I really care about. There just seems to be a very heavy tension that has been highlighting differences rather than the ways in which we all basically want the same thing (even if we see different ways of getting there).

The ways in which bullying has been a part of the political discourse has been exhausting and depressing. It has given me reason and cause to “dial it down” as I put it earlier and “stop engaging”. I think though that giving in to this reasoning is also why it’s easier for the narrative that the system is “rigged” to exist. And why her success so far is viewed as a mystery to be solved and overcome rather than the result of closeted Hillary fans, just as passionate about her as Sanders’ fans are about him — but that are perhaps quieter and less visible because of the ways in which they are taught to not engage or are criticized to the point of silence for their views.

I suppose I am mostly writing to help give a voice to “millennial Hillary supporters” since we seem to have been erased from the conversation (as one article aptly put it). I’d just want it to be clear that when I support Hillary I support many of the same things Bernie supporters do. I am not really on a different team. I just happen to think she’s the better woman for the job. I have many reasons for supporting her, like appreciating her stances on issues like gun control a little more, for example.

This is a purely emotional, not really too political post. At least in that I’m not asking to change minds, just hearts.

I’m really only asking for a little respect.

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