An ode to Microsoft Paint
And all of the reminiscent feels that go along with it
I am the oldest in my family. And, as most oldest children know, being the oldest comes with many things.
While my parental limits on sugar intake and screen time created a negative feedback loop in terms of my millennial coming-of-age, it did provide a interesting challenge: what computer activities would make my parents believe I would one day become a productive citizen?
The answer: Microsoft Paint.
At first, I dabbled. Ensuring my parents that Paint was just a modern iteration of finger painting. I would sketch the occasional still life of the family dog or paint a ocean-front landscape.
I was no Monet. But — maybe with a touch of the spray paint tool, a sepia filter, and squinting your eyes — Van Gogh wouldn’t be a stretch.
I was, and am still today, no artist. So luckily, I learned how to download and import photos. And, the lasso tool.
Political commentary became my forte.
I would paste snarky comments onto photos of world leaders, or, better yet, drag their contorted visages onto the bodies of monsters. (I’m still doing this today.)
I would not be the meme queen that I strive to be today without you, Microsoft Paint. You gave a sheltered first-child a way into the world.
Twenty-two of your 32 years meant more than you could imagine to me.
Rest in Peace, you wonderful piece of software.