5 Powerful Tips To Build Lasting Self-Esteem
If someone asks me what else I’ve changed in myself over the years, I’d say self-esteem and self-concept.
Self-esteem concerns the affections and emotions that accompany the description of ourselves. It shows us how we see the world around us and how we react to it.
The self-concept refers to behaviors that we have in our regard, resulting from the way we perceive ourselves and perceive beliefs about our competencies.
We become what we believe we are.
1 — Make a list of priorities and set a time to accomplish each of them
Busy schedule? Make a list of priorities and set a time to accomplish them. The remaining tasks should be delegated or deleted.
Since we are young, we often hear: ‘’I do everything because I am not weak and I don’t need anyone.’’ Leave the pride aside. You will be happier when you devote yourself to your well-being and happiness.
This is about knowing what you’re willing to do or not. It’s self-love. When we love and respect ourselves, we are teaching others how to treat us. Gradually, we become more selective about what we tolerate and what we do not.
2 — The art of saying ‘’No’’
Many people feel guilty about saying no. ‘’What if I disappoint someone?’’ The ego is our enemy. It makes us worry about what others will think. Well, the truth is… it is impossible to please everyone. Not everyone will like us and accept us, and that’s fine.
So how do I win the negative thoughts? When you say ‘’no’’ more and respect yourself. With time and practice, you will learn not to worry about what others think.
That doesn’t mean you’re being rude. You can say it simply and directly: for example, when you decline an invitation, say that you appreciate it but that you will not accept it and wish good luck. Period. Don’t keep explaining or going along on the subject.
If you find it difficult to know what to say ‘’no’’ to, follow some examples that are on my list:
- I don’t eat excess sugar;
- I do not accept doing something that I do not feel comfortable with or that I do not want only to please others;
- I do not accumulate things that do not need/use, do not tolerate or participate in conversations to talk negatively about other people.
Define your own list and be ready for the challenge.
Feeling fear and quiet is normal. It is part of the process.
Don’t quit. Honor your word.
Remember: You’re educating others on how to treat you.
Become demanding and selective.
You’re worth it.
3 — Take good care of yourself
If I ask you if your body is perfect, what would you tell me?
I’d say: yes, my body is perfect. (wow, audacious)
To me, goes beyond any standard.
What is your parameter to evaluate a perfect body?
The aesthetic? Hardly we will be 100% satisfied because our gaze is critical and we compare with others.
The health? Is your body strong and healthy?
My body is perfect for the lifestyle I have. It’s perfect because it made it possible for me to travel, work, hug the people I love, dance, enjoy good gastronomy and much more.
When we allow ourselves to love as we are, we come to see ourselves more affectionately, to take more care of ourselves in various aspects of our lives:
Health: sleep long enough, do physical exercise, eat nutritious food, and go to the doctor.
Appearance: take care of your hair, skin, and nails; wear clothes that make you feel good and confident.
That doesn’t mean settling down. If something bothers you, change it. Don’t change because you hate something in yourself, but because you love so much that you want to improve.
4 — Celebrate the greatest gift: life
Don’t leave the champagne for the special day.
Every day is special, so celebrate.
Wear your favorite outfit, buy flowers for your home, take a bath with a smelly soap and create an atmosphere of comfort and satisfaction.
5 — Who do you want in the trenches with you?
‘’Who is in the trenches next to you matters more than the war itself.’’ — Ernest Hemingway
In life, obstacles will arise: you may lose a loved one, lose your job, you may have to move abroad or receive an unexpected clinical diagnosis. These are the times when have to take care of yourself the most and turn to those you trust the most. Define the following: who can support me? what is the best way to express my feelings?
In these moments, remember (depending on the situation):
- You have been through difficult moments before
- It is part of the learning process
- Not getting what you want can be a blessing
- Allow yourself to see the good side in the critical moment
- What others think about you is not a reason for you to worry
- There is always something good to be grateful for.
Final considerations: self-esteem requires patience, practice, and commitment. Be ready to overcome guilt for putting yourself first, fear of being judged, and anxiety about changing behaviors.
Is an organic and evolutionary process.
I wish someone had told me all this before, so if this article helps at least one person, it was worth it.
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