Clickbait headlines you don’t have to click.

You’re welcome.

I ran away to live with a roving pack of monkeys, became their queen, and you won’t believe what happened next.

Payoff: The monkeys staged a coup and stole all of my clothes and documents.

How can you get a raise in today’s economy? We asked the experts.

Payoff: Be good at your job and then diplomatically ask for a raise.

Can you handle what’s inside this old man’s grapefruit-sized shoulder cyst?

Payoff: Nope.

I went from fifty grand in debt to living in a house that’s totally paid-for in less than a week with this one weird trick.

Payoff: I declared bankruptcy and moved back in with my parents.

How to raise perfect children: Must-know secrets from French Moms.

Payoff: Good wine & robust social services.

Here’s what happened today in politics, and what you can do about it.

Payoff: Call your representatives over and over and then try to get some sleep.

How to get rid of under-eye circles. Three super-brilliant beauty tricks.

Payoff: Sleep. If sleep doesn’t work, try make-up. If make-up doesn’t work, get drastic facial surgery.

Millennials who work three jobs just don’t care what any of you old people think.

Payoff: This one isn’t clickbait. It’s just a fact.

I spent the last thirty days eating nothing but canned cheese. Here are my results.

Payoff: My skin is gray, none of my clothes fit, and I can’t stop crying.

Celebrity diets! We reveal which ones work and which ones don’t.

Payoff: None of them work. Have some cake.

What kind of cat are you? Take this quiz to find out your purrfect type.

Payoff: You’re a meme we found somewhere else.

I was brutally honest with everyone in my life for an entire week. Here’s how it radically changed my life.

Payoff: Everyone hates me now.

You won’t believe what’s living in the sewers in your city!

Payoff: Rats. Millions of rats. Everywhere.

Everything you really need to know about the latest royal wedding.

Payoff: The page is blank.

We asked twelve guys what they want from their girlfriends. You won’t believe what they said.

Payoff: Sex. They want sex.

Here’s how you can make twelve thousand dollars an hour FOR LIFE!

Payoff: Malware