How Society Made Me Hate The Color of My Skin
Introduction
“Mom,” I pointed, “I want to go to that store over there.” On Greenwood Ave. right across the street from the Dominican salon, there was an African Beauty Store. It wasn’t all that big, but I had never been in before. Letting go of my mom’s hand as soon as we got in, I began to run through the aisles. There were shea butter, coconut oil, black soap, and palm oil. Finally reaching the last aisle, I encountered many brands of bleaching soaps and creams. Arbitrarily picking one up, I chose Caro White. Enticed by the idea of becoming lighter, I asked my mom if I could purchase this one item. Knowing what it was, she agreed. I excitedly grabbed the bag from the store lady after she had finished ringing it up. Holding tightly onto the handles of the bag, I couldn’t wait to go home and try it. Like a fever blister, this memory stings whenever I drive past that store.
black might be beautiful
but light skin is the right skin
it doesn’t occur to them
that some of the most gorgeous stones are Obsidian
Opal
Onyx
people will tell you to bleach your brown
wash your black
erase your dark
Like our diluted tones are worth lending us privilege
Like there isn’t brilliance emanating from your pores
Like the mahogany of your skin isn’t perfect
our absence of color doesn’t make us magnificent
beauty can never be found in just one spot on the gray-scale
it’s the deepest shades that paint the best portraits
— An Excerpt from “Team Light Skin” by Kai Davis, Hiwot Adilow, and Telia Allmond
In another piece, Why I Hate Being a Black Woman in America, I discussed societal perceptions of black women, and for a brief second, I mentioned how societal ideal of nearing “whiteness” has caused split treatment for different shades of melanin outside and within the black community. This is known as colorism. Before I dive into this topic, I want to express that I do carry light-skinned privilege, and the experiences and treatments I receive in relevance to society will be lesser than my darker skinned sisters.
History of Colorism
What is colorism? Colorism is prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group. Colorism exists within many cultures and is a global issue. Two main causes for colorism is colonialism and classism. Both causes depict how the color of one’s skin tone has determined power dynamics within global societies.
Focusing on those of African descent in the Americas, we will be looking at colonialism as our main cause for colorism. After European whites colonized the Americas, the slave trade began to flourish. Whites then split blacks up into two groups: dark-skinned and light-skinned. Darker skinned blacks were known to be ‘field slaves’ who did physically intensive tasks while light skinned blacks, a product of white men raping black women, were given more esteemed positions like ‘house slaves’. This created friction between the two groups.
After emancipation occurred in 1863, blacks created their own social divide system by creating ‘elite’ societies and schools in which you had to pass tests in order to be accepted, such as the ‘blue veins’ or ‘paper bag’ tests. These skin color based assessments helped to expand colorism in the general public creating movements like #TeamLightSkin and #TeamDarkSkin. In a 1990 study by Hughes and Hertel, findings depicted that light-skinned blacks were more likely to have a higher education and salaries than their darker skinned counterparts. These social advantages that lighter skinned blacks received and continue to receive represents society’s preference for light skinned blacks. If all black people are stereotyped, then darker skinned blacks are stereotyped even worse.
Media’s Role in Colorism
In The Amazing Tales of Creative, Black Women in Media, I mentioned how the media plays a role in our thoughts and perceptions about people. I, then, explained why creating tropes has led to a negative effect on black identities and black women.
For females, colorism plays a role in the media due to ideologies surrounding attractiveness, like having eurocentric features as opposed to African or Black. In 1987, research studies done by Umberson & Hughes have shown a positive correlation between levels of attractiveness and perceived ability and intelligence. This can be well depicted in television shows in which light skinned blacks are the main characters while dark skinned blacks are more likely to be supporting characters. Dark skinned blacks are also more likely to be depicted as The Sassy Black Woman or The Dumb Black Woman who is also seen less attractive than her lighter skinned counterpart. Examples of this include Girlfriends, One on One, and The Proud Family.
Amongst other principles regarding colorism in media, think about the first black woman to be crowned Miss America. Now, I love Vanessa Williams especially in Ugly Betty, but she is an embodiment of eurocentric features and light skin black.
Now, what about some of the famous black women you know? (The Kardashians are NOT black. Do not think of them!) You probably thought of people like Beyoncé, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, or Taraji P. Henson. All light-skinned blacks who are perceived by the media to be ‘The Most Beautiful’. Obviously, there are other famous black women like Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, and Viola Davis in which to gain society’s favor, they had to jump through even more hoops. It’s as simple as that.
To make matters even worse, the media, especially magazines, will lighten the skin tones of these already light skinned blacks to portray the idea that ‘lighter is in fact better’. And falling into the traps of society, many idols bleach their skin to increase their ‘worth’ and perpetuate society’s idea of beauty. Some researchers have even termed dark-skinned black women as being in a “triple-jeopardy” situation because of their gender, race, and skin tone.
My Melanin Shade and Colorism
Growing up, I blamed the sun for darkening my skin. I thought that if I just scrubbed hard enough, the color I used to be would show up. When the scrubbing didn’t work, I shifted towards bleaching soaps. I would run to the mirror every morning to check and see if I had become a shade lighter. No result.
All my life, I had lived with my mother and had little to no interaction with my father’s side of the family. To me, it seemed like the only gift, or the only good thing my father ever gave me was this skin color. I didn’t like being black. I didn’t like having braids, cornrows, or a curly fro. I asked myself was I ugly because I was ugly or was I ugly because I was black. The prettiest woman had straight hair, lighter eyes, whiter skin, and a smaller build. At least that’s what magazines, television, and radio had told me.
What didn’t help was that my family and friends perpetuated the idea of ‘light skin is right skin’. They kept pushing the idea of my ancestry being white or Indian like being just black was a fatality. I fed off their words not knowing their mind was corrupt by societal perceptions and prejudices, for we conform to the environment closest to us.
After watching Dark Girls, I understood that it wasn’t just me, but it was many of us crushed in oblivious pain, and no one had anything to say about it. And for me, someone who was light skinned, I couldn’t even fathom the idea of what it would be like to be dark-skinned and to fall into a whirlwind of self-hate. I escaped the cycle of self-hate after becoming burnt, dried ashes and was instead reborn like a phoenix. I AM A PROUD, BLACK WOMAN!
Conclusion
Today, we still compare skin colors. We still classify each other as light-skinned, dark-skinned, or somewhere in between. We still judge and break down another individual to gain a sense of power or a sense of confidence which is all too fleeting. Why do we make these generalizations? Why do we judge without knowing the full potential of an individual? Because we are worms slithering in the thrashed dirt that is society. I’m saying this because we are capable of coexisting, but two things need to be understood: light skinned blacks do carry privilege and these power dynamics that we have created in our own community is a weakness in our ability to move forward as a race. As said by Malcolm X, “We cannot think of uniting with others, until after we have first united among ourselves.”
Thank you for reading this piece! I always say at the end that I’m not necessarily a great writer, so I’ll appreciate any feedback regarding the writing. I’m also in the process of creating a platform for black identities and black women to share their legacy work. If you’re interested, email contact@redflowers.co and check out: http://bit.ly/2iCoWz5.
