A Note on Outing

*Skipping N*

So, outing. Yeah, I hate outing. It makes me think of Shane from MTV’s “Faking It” or Finn from “Glee.” Outing is when someone discloses information about another’s sexual orientation or gender identity without their knowledge and/or consent. Here are a few examples of how someone can be outed

  • Friends talking about a certain identity and then bringing up your name
  • Someone believing because since you didn’t say “Don’t tell anyone” when you came out to them, that you gave them permission to tell anyone
  • Tagging you in an LGBTQ-themed social media post (not explicitly outing, but definitely hinting at queer identities)
  • If you live in an LGBTQ living community, someone else saying that you also live there
  • Writing “___is queer” somewhere (anywhere), such as a chalkboard, bathroom stall, classroom desk, etc.
  • Or, simply saying it to anyone!

Just like we said coming out is personal and you shouldn’t be pressured to come out, outing them is totally going against that right.

If you’re outed, try to think of it as a blessing, if possible. Coming out can be hard and this person, although wrongfully so, did that hard work for you. However, be sure to talk to them about how you feel about them disclosing your sexual orientation and/or gender identity to others. I know at first I wasn’t very comfortable with it, but after awhile, I was fine with it. You may notice that if you become being out and proud about your identity, letting others out you will just open possibilities up for things like events and friends to meet.

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Originally published at queersmatter.wordpress.com on December 31, 2015.