Dear Amor, I Hate You.

Dear Amor,

I hate you.

I hate everything about you.

I hate your curly auburn hair, I hate its red-brownish colour, like the colour of light chocolate which I also hate. I hate how your hair is quite bushy it makes me can’t see the teacher teaching in front of class about algebra. Your hair also has a very recognizable smell. It is like the smell of strawberry dipped in chocolate and covered in cinnamon. Whatever shampoo you use, please don’t use it again. It is driving me crazy.

I hate your skin colour. It’s tan, like sun-kissed one. I hate the fact how they glow, the glow that makes my chest like burning and exploding into pieces.

I also hate your eyes. They’re brown. Brown. Brown. The most boring eyes’ colour ever. But they are the warmest. I hate the way you look at me, that stare so sharp it can see right to my soul, past my exterior border. And the thick wall I built comes crashing and rumbling just because of that look you gave me. The warm and emphatic look when I was so down. And I hate how your eyes are so, so warm and beautiful even though you said harsh words.

Speaking of the things you say, I hate everything you say. I hate how you always answer the teacher’s questions correctly (ugh, I hate it so much!), the way you talk about some trashy gossip with your friends (I hate them too), and the witty comeback to my brilliant insults. I hate all about you say because of your voice. I hate your voice so much. It gives me chills. Your sarcasm. Your brilliance. Your irony. Your dry humour. Your insults. The list goes on and goes on and goes on…

By the way, I hate that you’re one of the top of our school in every subject. Stop being so witty and so brilliant like you know it all, it’s very annoying. You know every book back and forth, and you remember every detail of it. Your thirst for knowledge is unquenchable, you’re probably the only person who loves reading classics, politics, biographies, auto-biographies, even history books. I hate the fact that your favourite place in the entire school is library. I hate that I could only beat you in sport and that’s only because you can’t run so fast and so long because you have asthma (and sport cannot be learned just from books, ha!)

I hate your way of thinking, it is so eccentric and authentic. I hate that you like writing and your writings are actually good (ugh!). Speaking of that, I hate the way Dean look at you, stares at you, and I hate the way he says your name so casually. I hate it so much that I actually wanted to punch Dean in the face when last Wednesday he kissed your left cheek and you blushed. I hate it when I saw you broke in tears because Dean cheated on you. I hate it when you are hurt, I hate it when your feelings are crushed.

Then, I hate your name. I have no idea why your mom named you after the god of love (Eros — Greek and Cupid — Roman). Such irony. I hate it when you groaned and said that you actually hate your name : Amor Esperanza. And I. Really. Hate. Your. Name. I also hate your smile. I hate when your dimple on your right cheek shows up.

I hate the fact that there’s a quote “Amor es esperanza” meaning “Love is hope“ and “Amor vincit omnia” meaning “Love conquers all”. Now I say it the third time : I hate your name and your name’s meaning.

Of course there are other things I hate about you, but to write them all would take an eternity.

I hate the fact that I cannot hate you.

But out of all the things I hate about you, I hate you most for making me fall in love with you.