Thank you for letting me be terrible,

Dear Nora,

I wouldn’t say I hate celebrity culture, it’s a strange and whimsical world where we, the lowly, lust after diamonds, the flash of paparazzi, and swimming pools shaped like swans. But I’ve always been more of a fan of the banal. I walk past people in the street and wonder what they want most right in that moment: a pastrami sandwich, to be debt-free, decent sex? All valid desires. But I also always want to know what haunts people as they walk toward me, concrete giants looming over us. What are they looking for? What did they lose?

Last November, I stumbled upon Terrible, Thanks For Asking. I read the title and knew I had to listen. You, with bravery, raw honesty and a wicked sense of humour, hit the listener with your multiple losses. Your miscarriage, your father, your husband.

Your podcast has been a simultaneous gut-punch and comforting hug. Hearing other people share their heart-wrenching stories gave me permission to cry. You know, that weird, drooling cry you get when you just don’t care anymore?

I have spent the past few years clumsily gathering up the pieces of my life after facing multiple tragedies as well. (“Multiple tragedies” is a horrific term, is there a better word for it? Have we come up with something that sounds a bit less clinical but not entirely melodramatic?) Losing my best friend of 21 years, then her mother, then my grandmother.

Your recent podcast episode “Are You Up?” explored what dozens of people from across the world were awake and thinking about. You asked us to share what keeps us awake at night.

For a few nights now, it has been your podcast. You have been keeping me awake and I mean that in the least sapphic way possible. Consider yourself one of my favourite “celebrities.” Sans swan-shaped pool.

Grief unites us all, and yet, we use pain to build walls. The name of the podcast says it all. We are so quick to answer “good” when we are in fact, absolutely not good. Terrible, in fact.

So thank you, Nora, for creating a platform in which people can truthfully respond to the question: how are you doing?

I’ve been terrible, thanks for asking.

Jessica Seburn