keep a place for me
She had just stopped crying, kind of, her head lying on his chest, when she felt his hand gripping her throat, hard.
Her eyes closed softly and her mouth opened slightly, he pushed her against the sofa, her neck bent backwards and she felt the weight of his body shifting underneath her.
She didn’t feel like crying anymore. Her head felt light and empty.
“You’re so predictable,” came his voice right next to her ear, followed by a gentle kiss and a bite.
She wanted it to go on until she blacked out completely and she could feel the lightness all over, but his grip loosened and as she opened her eyes she felt the first slap.
She closed her eyes again, her cheek was still stinging and she felt the second one, stronger, almost bringing tears to her eyes again but these were a different kind.
Her back arched and his hand moved from her throat to her hair, pulling her head so strong she felt she might bend until she broke. He kneeled on the sofa, behind her, pulling so her neck was lying on his shoulder and bit again, sucking on the bruised skin.
“It’s good like this. You make me want to hurt you and I can.”
“Why would you want to hurt me,” came as a whisper.
“For being like this.”
She tried to get away, and he cornered her against the wall. She was sitting with her legs close to her body, the only thing keeping him away, and she tried to reach his face with one hand but he held both of them tight against her chest.
He was still pulling her hair, and he let go of her hands to slap her on the face again, and again, and again, pressing against her so her legs would keep her arms still, so she was a tiny curled ball, immobile, with the neck bent and exposed and cheeks burning and red.
He kissed her, and she sucked hard on his lips and she couldn’t say a word but she didn’t think of anything to say any longer and that was good as well because he never got it anyway, so she just thought of her face being pushed against the sofa, almost suffocating, her arms all wrong, one of his hands holding the back of her neck firm in position, the other hastily removing her tights and panties and then his fingers, fast and hard, moving inside her hole, aching and stretching and she wanted him to fill her with everything he got but no matter how deep he pushed she wanted him to fill a place that didn’t exist.
He hugged her as close as close can be, their legs tangled, his arms holding her, face buried inside his chest, his hands caressing her head very lightly and his lips planting soft kisses on her head.
“I’m here for you. I’m always here for you.”
Present tense, and she was crying again, very quietly, in the dark spot where his neck met his shoulder and it was safe there.
“I look after you.”
It was safe there and nowhere else where light could reach.
“I love you.”
He hugged her tighter and she hugged him back so hard she felt she might forget how to let go.
But some things only become real when you say them out loud.
“Thank you for being so good to me.”