No One Belongs Here More Than You

I sit at the same Coffee Bean everyday, where I sit most days, when I have absolutely nothing to do. I have the day off. It means I sit in my bedroom due to the fact that I really have no close friends nearby to fill my days with, not here. I do not gossip-but I sometimes wish I had friends to do so. in the distance I hear the sound of smooth Jazz, and two girls gossiping about their conquests and men. I sometimes think I should embrace alone time, because my 20’s are supposed to be the time where I can enjoy being me. It’s a dangerous game, though, it leads to overthinking. My first real relationship,Jeff, he is now a marine, my second ex-boyfriend, Chris, is alone, but a dad. The other two are going back to school and my current beau is trying to find himself on his own journey.

I never ask myself, “What am I doing?” I realize I am in a beautiful state but it is almost like I am on the edge waiting for my big break into what my life should entail. I have met some extraordinary people among the weeds, and I have to tell you that you learn to appreciate them, like picking up a penny heads up, they make you feel a little luckier for knowing them, and make you believe in that hope that drives you to pursue your dreams. I am trying to chuck overthinking habits, but it is harder than you think.

People may not always make an effort, or always reach out and communicate with you personally, but do you?

Only a select few have showed me their glimmer in spirit and in their words, maybe I should stop thinking of other people, and learn to belong myself. Maybe I should stop feeling lost and find myself among the people I find glimmering, Miranda July once said, “No One Belongs Here More Than You”, and I whole-hardheartedly believe a lot of us do not give ourselves enough credit for living.

Be patient, be happy, be you, because you belong, you deserve to be cared about, you matter. Your 20’s are about growth and acceptance. I am 24, and I am still growing, I am getting to know who I am. I am becoming more aware of what is wrong and what is right that separates me from those who are still holding on.

Happiness is a feeling, not a destination, so when things seem to be going wrong, your anxiety might get the best of you sometimes, and you might feel lost. It is important to remember that you can choose to be happy. Happiness is felt, not longed for, and it is important in this time of change and growth to put happiness first.

If I am writing this to you or myself, remember that you have time, be patient, and if you have to force it, leave it. Relationships, friendships, yoga poses, perfect pony tails, let that shit go(pinterest.com).

You deserve and belong in happiness-no regrets.

XOXO,

Jess

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