What will a first kiss after a 9 year marriage be like?

What will my first kiss be like? What will my first kiss be like in this space?

This space after 9 years of relationship.

One relationship.

How will I know how to kiss. Or hold. Or move my body?

Will I be stiff and uncomfortable? Will I be too relaxed? Will I be both at the same time and how will I ever deal with that?

Will I still love kissing? What will I taste like? What will a kiss - with a new person - taste like?

How will I know I still have taste?

What is my body now? How will I feel inside hands other than his? Inside hands other other than mine?

How will I be brave enough to let hands touch my body?

What will my body do under hands?

Will I be so sexy that I just want to have sex? What if that happens? Will I have sex with everyone I kiss?

Will I cry. Will I weep with a stranger the way I couldn’t help but weep with my husband?

Who cheated on me.

Will I weep because I feel so vulnerable? So Open.

Will I never be able to weep again because I will never be open again?

What will happen if I weep with a stranger?

Will everyone now be a stranger?

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