How a Job Loss Sparked Unprecedented Personal Change
Once upon a time, in a world turned upside down by a pandemic, there was me — standing at the crossroads of change.
I, the embodiment of stability and success in my engineering profession, was primed to ascend to a managerial throne. My path seemed set, my future bright. Then, without warning, the pandemic struck like a raging storm.
The company that had been my professional home, the foundation of my ambitions, succumbed to the storm. Operations halted, doors closed. I stood amidst the wreckage, unprepared, my career’s compass spinning aimlessly. In a world where economies trembled and job markets froze, I found myself adrift in uncharted waters.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, my financial reservoirs began to dry up. Panic, like a relentless shadow, followed me. The job hunt became my new vocation, but the doors remained shut, the opportunities scarce. My confidence, once as tall as skyscrapers, crumbled like a house of cards. Insecurities crept in like uninvited guests entering my mind, whispering doubts and fears.
Then a subtle transformation began. The pressure, the stress, the endless worry — they began to strip the person I once was. Relationships, once a source of joy and support, now felt the strain of my changing personality. My once calm and collected demeanor turned into restlessness, a weakness that was foreign to me and those I love dearly.
Max, the love of my life, tried to be my anchor in this storm. But my insecurities obscured the effort he was throwing. I lashed out, my words sharp as knives, pushing him away, one hurtful remark at a time.
And then I went through the stages of change.
Stage 1. Pre-contemplation
One evening, as I watched the sunset, I saw Max’s face. I saw love, but also a weariness, a sadness that mirrored my own. It hit me like a lightning bolt. I was losing him, the one person who stood by me through thick and thin. Only then I thought I had to do something.
Stage 2. Contemplation
Slowly, the gravity of the situation dawned on me. I began to reflect during these sleepless nights. Why were things falling apart? Was it just the job loss, or something more? The realization dawned,” Did I become a monster? What do I need to do now?” I whispered to the empty room.
Stage 3. Decision-making
I reached a pivotal juncture. The comfort of denial was no longer an option. The need for change became obvious, as did the fear of the unknown. Anxiety about the future wrestled with the necessity of transformation. But deeper than my fear was a desire to not lose Max, to not lose myself. So I stepped out of my comfort zone.
Stage 4. Active Change
I began to seek new paths, and new possibilities. It wasn’t just about finding a job; it was about rediscovering myself and redefining my identity beyond my career. I started small — practicing mindfulness, joining online classes on self-improvement and life coaching, joining online communities, and slowly rebuilding my self-esteem. I worked on trying to mend the gap in my relationships.
Stage 5. Maintenance
Progress was slow and nonlinear, a daily effort. I learned to be kinder to myself, to journal, to celebrate small victories. I worked on being a better partner to Max, on being present, and not letting my insecurities dictate my actions.
Stage 6. Relapse
But the path wasn’t smooth. There were days when old habits resurfaced when doubts clouded my mind. That’s part of being human, I guess. I am still struggling to find financial stability, which spiraled me back into self-pity.
Stage 7. Intervention
It was in these moments that I admitted I needed professional help. Even though I am in the process of educating myself on psychology, I lack practice. So I leaned on my support system — therapy and life coaching. I reached out to my online community and received coaching sessions. They helped me see new perspectives and most notably, offered me a space of empathy. It was a game-changer.
I have more control of my emotions now. Though, still re-establishing myself career-wise, my relationship with Max has gone deeper than I have imagined.
My struggle presents some limiting beliefs that might mirror many in these unprecedented times. It’s a leap to tell such low points in our lives but it’s about facing the demons within, the courage to confront change, to adapt, and to grow that make it worth sharing.
In every story, there’s a message of hope — that even in the darkest times, the human spirit can find a way to shine.
