Letter to my 25 year old self

Jess
Jess
Aug 23, 2017 · 3 min read

Dear Jess,

Although you might feel trapped by your desk job, petty work politics and dystopian family life in the concrete jungle of Hong kong, you know there is a world out there waiting to be discovered and conquered.

You know that deep down, you are resilient and know your worth. The quarter life crisis is fleeting, you tell yourself. You affirm yourself daily that even though your surroundings don’t make sense, it’s all part of your journey. Your zen remains unwavering.

Once my OSAP is paid off, I’ll start a passion project, is your daily mantra.

Your experiences of teaching in Thailand in a rural school, where you forged friendships with from a paradigm completely different from yours is what keeps your faith in humanity alive. Throughout your travels, your everyday interactions with people that you didn’t have anything in common with at first glance, shaped your perspective. Kindness, friendship, and integrity didn’t ever need a language.

You’ll stay adamant that these are universal values but continue to feel upset when people around you including your own relatives and colleagues chip at your hope in humanity.

At one point you’ll even text your dad exactly saying “I’m a spiritual mess”, to which he’ll respond by giving you a book about the life of Mother Theresa. Seems fitting, since your middle named is after her. You might tear up at work but you put on a brave face when your grade 7–8’s pile into the classroom with their shy yet bright eyes. You’ll confidently tell them how to analyse some 18th Century Romantic poets from England while in your mind you worry about whether your imposter syndrome is going to be exposed somehow.

On the way home you’ll browse through the book your dad gave you, reading about the life of Mother Teresa, in awe of her ability to remain calm in the face of adversity, and determination to her cause. You hope you can do the same on a much smaller scale.

You’ll also learn the painful process of letting go and realizing that your experiences and people you met are just one piece in the jigsaw of your identity rather than the main event of your life. Worthwhile people who fulfil your life and help you grow as a person come and go but it’s the memories that matter.

The best is yet to come, you mutter to yourself as you scroll through Instagram looking for the next travel destination while also totally aware that cell phones and technology also distract you from things that matter, like spending time with family and taking care of your own mind, body and soul.

Maybe you’ll look back at this when you’re 26 and roll your eyes because you were so melodramatic. Or there won’t be a difference because you’ll still want to keep exploring, never satisfied with what you managed to achieve up til now.

Regardless, the most important skill you’ll need to learn at 25 is to feel gratitude for how life is unfolding now and what is in the present, instead of blindly striving for the next big break.

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