New Year’s Dream

My dream was set in some sort of arena, big enough to fit maybe a thousand people, maybe more. I don’t remember much of what had happened before my teeth started to fall out. I was in pain and discomfort. I felt hideous. One of my front teeth and two more along the top left side had fallen out into my hands for me to throw them in a random crowd in disgust.

I made rounds to my friends, crying about my teeth and how ugly I am. They said it was cute.

We all sat down at a table when I had my psychotic episode. It was nothing more than a response to the voices that haunted my mind. I threw whatever I could get my hands on to the ground and watched them become undone, crashing and scattering into pieces.

My friends were appalled and looked at me in shock and confusion. “What the fuck?” They all abandoned me to a condition I had no control over.

After they dispersed, I went on to find each person, trying to apologize for “acting out.” I couldn’t find the last person.

The only thing I can remember after that are my several attempts to kill myself, holding onto the belief that I could never be loved. Or should I say, fact.