love + cell division + the big G with a side of The Beatles

originally written: April 16, 2017

I have been thinking a lot about love lately. In truth, it is a topic I think about most of the time.

Love is the answer at least for most of the questions of my heart. Like why are we here and where do we go and how come it’s so hard.

I have a tattoo on my right forearm. I got it with one of my dearest friends.

All you need is love.

She is a Beatles fan. I love her. Now I have this lyric permanently inked in my skin. When she said what she was going to get I immediately said, Yes! Not so much for the favour of the song but because it is an underlying truth in my life. I do believe all you need is love because I deep down in my being believe that love is all there is.

But there are so many things. There are people and trees and oceans and cities and juice and laptops… how is love all there is? This is something that I know to be true. I knew it before I understood it on any level.

That doesn’t happen often, does it? For me, it is usually the reverse. I understand the concept of something or like the idea of someone and then come to know them (it). But it does happen. This has arrived in my life with people. There are people that have come into my life and immediately felt like I knew them. You look at them and think, Where do I know you from? Then logic fails and you are left with an awareness that you are connected to them. And it just is.

I recall one of my first experiences with knowing someone before I “knew” them. I thought I was head over heels. I thought I MUST be romantically in love with this person because I felt so connected. I felt seen by them. I saw them. This was my first lesson in the ways we try to limit the boundaries of love. If I felt connected to someone before I knew them then it could only mean they were my soulmate (used in it’s most cliché definition here). I learned they were but not in the way I thought. This was a very intense, full blast, recognition of myself in another kind of thing. A person who I didn’t have to fall in love with. They appeared and love was there. No creation. No grand gestures. No conditions or approval or favours or compliments or dates or this for that. This energy of love was there in a way that I cannot actually recall it not being there. That is when love is all there is started to surface in a tangible and logical way for me. It took the recognition of a sacred love personified for me to understand and feel the constant undercurrent of energy that I know to be love.

Which brings me to cell division and God.

This is something I contemplate from time to time. Science intrigues me. It lights me up. My curiosity for the miraculous things that happen in biology, psychology and physics knows no bounds. Things like how one thing becomes two things, how something comes from nothing and how we can experience the past in the present (don’t even get me started on space!). It is the one becomes two that really gets me. How one cell becomes one cell in the first place is stunning but why it divides keeps me awake in the early mornings. The reason that it holds my attention is because when I think about the cell, I think about God. I imagine the two are one and the same. Microcosm… macrocosm. You know what I mean. I once read that in order for God to exist, we needed to be separate. For spirit, for soul to be known and experienced there had to be something else. There had to be us.

This reminds me of the cell dividing. It reminds me of when I meet people I feel I already know. There was one and then there were two.

If I exist to know soul… then I am soul. We are soul. Often it is considered something within us. We contain spirit. From my perspective, it contains us. We are in spirit. We are within God. A perceived separation from a source, from something that was there before I came to be.

I feel alone sometimes. I feel separate and disconnected. I pray and I ask for guidance, for a reminder of my strength. Then I will look up as he walks through the door. His face says so much before a word is spoken. His smile genuine like there is no other way for his mouth to rest. I will look down at my phone and see her name across the screen because she is calling at the exact moment I needed to hear her voice. An email will arrive when I feel like I have no more tears to cry and it will allow me to breath again. It is with these moments that I remember. I return to love, to source. I am reminded that we all came to be a reflection of each other, a reflection of God, of Love.

God is Love, I mean that literally. I don’t mean that God radiates love. It is all God, it is all Love, it is all us. Everything that exists and happens that appears to be separate from love is a distortion or illusion, an opportunity to forget, to get lost in what is means to be human so that we can remember over and over again what it means to be Love.

Nothing you can know that isn’t known.

Nothing you can see that isn’t shown.

Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.

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