A message to my new awesome shoes

YOU ARE VERY STIFF AND HURTING MY FEET. WHY DON’T YOU BE A NICE PAIR OF SHOES AND ACT WITH SOME FUCKING HUMANITY?

I HAVE TO TAKE YOU OFF EVERY 30 MINUTES. THAT’S LITERALLY THE MOST UNSHOE THING A SHOE CAN DO. APART FROM MAYBE GETTING INTO A CAR AND DRIVING TO A SCHOOL AND THEN THROWING YOURSELVES VIOLENTLY AT THE KIDS. YEAH WHY DON’T YOU DO THAT SHOES? YOU FUCKING CUNTS.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? YOU HAVE ONE MAYBE TWO JOBS SHOES. LET ME BREAK IT DOWN