I want to go, but not home.

I wonder where you go when you want to escape? I wonder how much money you spend to get there? I wonder if you break the rules to go? How many times can you break the rules without getting caught anyway? I wonder how much time it takes you to recover?

I am above all tolerance now. No more bullshit please. People say when they have to mock, “one will always finds a reason to be upset”. It’s just that reasons come unwelcomed.

Do you think I’m not trying hard enough to not scream all the sanity out of my head?

Ignoring and ignoring the world’s cheap ways to get through, that include pushing another into the mud of devastation, despair, disgrace, you name it. In order to look better, feel better, instead of working on themselves. Days go by like this. How much more will they stare with their breaths sucked in, unblinking, waiting for the battered mouse to twitch so they can stomp on it another time?

Who isn’t tired? I wish I was shameless enough to push back, to start a cat-fight because they already tore me with their claws. (Why is it wrong only when I show my claws?)

Who isn’t tired? I wish I could get away with the same kind of filthy leg-pulling that puts them in an apparently respectable place.

Who isn’t tired? I wish I could lie without getting caught.

Who isn’t tired? I wish I could gossip about them too without having my name stamped to the story.

I want to go.

Animals are much more human. Humans are cannibals who will feed on things much more than mere flesh. Humans are shameless parasites who will infest you forever if you open the door even once. Humans are dementers, vampires, foxes, hyenas and jackals, all at once!

Home isn’t heaven anymore. With both parents frustrated because of job, finance, taxes, emotions, humans, who talks to the other considerately?

No one. That’s the answer and you know it.

If you’re still shaking your head you have either never stepped out the door, are too rich to bother, or believe in diplomacy.

Sorry, I’m a fucking blunt knife pushed right into your chest. I want your money and send me to Paris for a five star holiday experience.

Have a nice day. As for me, I still got 14 hours of human shit to tolerate, which is by the way is a very long time for a person in their blues.


P.S: Bullshit is a word too benign.

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