New Skin

Have you ever missed someone to the point of breaking down? 
And when you hit rock bottom you prefered to stay on the ground?
How did it feel to wish death upon yourself?
Did you ever imagine losing one person would steal your health?
One person you found, one person you had
All lost in prejudice in one day flat.
How does it feel to get up but collapse?
How does it feel to try to cope with the facts?
Did you ever know you brought it on yourself?
You know you should have bowed and accepted their hell
As your home.
Because now you’re not in your comfortable zone.
It hurts to be away for far more than
Three sixty five days
I lost count after that as I slowly lost my mind
Normalcy, sanity and such I left behind
In time.
And now when I close my tearful eyes
I open them with regret, I’ve forgotten all the lies,
The blames, the games, the calling of names
I can drown in the pool of the tears that I’ve cried
For my friend.
Often I dream of you coming into my room
And spooning me as I miss you and tell me it’s not the end.
Cried for my friend
Days upon days, nights after nights.
Ask my temporary roommate how hard I had to fight
To live each day, to breathe without hiccups.
I spent days with open books on the same page as my mind frittered.
I longed for you, I waited and waited
For you to ask me about my silence but you faded
Slowly into a misty fog with new people, emotionally jaded.
Your laughter echoed in the corridor occasionally.
I started to spite it as it killed me slowly.
The slower the knife sinks into my flesh
The more it causes the wound distress
The pain runs up into my brain
And I allow it to be released into my body, it’s insane
To be chained
To a person as such
That bleed and die you would and wouldn’t feel much,
Yet watching them share a laugh with another
Is unbearable, it’s dispair, it’s tearing me asunder!
Far more than three sixty five days it’s been.
How much time does it take to form new skin?