5 Weird Things I’ve Noticed About the States
The United States are united in their strangeness.
The U.S. is a weird place. I realize this isn’t a novel statement or thought, as seen by a quick ecosia search.
I mean, I grew up as a jewish guy in the american south, occupying this weird liminal space in-between insider and outsider, so I already knew and experienced the weirdness. Whether through seeing or being the center of bizarre shit white christians do, like praying for you because you’re a heathen or hissing at you when they find out you’re jewish––people like Fred Phelps aren’t as uncommon there as you hope)––or the bomb threats, kids with guns on campus, seeing people get knifed or having guns pulled on me by cops. I knew it was weird before I left. I just wasn’t prepared for the weird little things.
I’m not going to talk about the obvious, “big system” strangeness, like mass shootings, police brutality, and the horrendous healthcare system. Or the people protesting wearing mask and what may well be some of the first free healthcare most americans have ever gotten in free vaccinations. Or the fact that people tried to overturn a presidential election and murder a bunch of politicians…we’ve seen enough on that recently. I’m going for the relatively gentle ones, for the most part…
1. The cost of Fruits and Vegetables
Y’all, what the fuck. Why does a head of broccoli average $2.50? Don’t even get me started on the cost of apples. How the hell do y’all afford to eat healthy here? It’s cheaper to get a single massive slice of pizza in Connecticut than it is to buy broccoli, peppers, and onions.
2. Nationalism/Jingoism at Sports Games
(Video Credit: Srushti Gubbi)
An English friend went to their first baseball game last week. They hardly talked about the game itself — “It seems like one of those games that’s more intriguing when you know more about it. There was a homerun. That was neat.”–– they focused on the weird singing and all the virtual flag waving, instead.
They said it went on the entire game, with songs like “Proud to Be an American” and “God Bless America”, and the crowd all singing along. Y’all know that’s weird, right? It’s not like you’re at some governmental function. It’s sportsball…it was initially strange going to footy, rugby, and ice hockey games and not hearing any songs about the country you were in (except “Loch Lomond” after the hockey team won), but, coming back, seeing all this “america is awesome” chest-thumping is far more bizarre. Add all that and the virtual flags and fireworks onto singing the anthem before every game in every american professional and semi-professional sport and you get some weird U.S shit.
3. Advertisements for Medicine and Prescription Drugs
(Video Credit: SuperBowlSammy)
Another one that’s pretty well talked about already, so much so that Business Insider got involved. You’re guaranteed to see a commercial advertising some medicine to you if you watch T.V. in the U.S. That’s been the case since I was a kid, even watching Batman on saturday morning. Somehow the number of prescription drug ads have increased since I moved away, even though it already felt like they were about every other commercial back in 2016. It’s weird. Most of us aren’t doctors (or the right kind of doctor, in my case), the hell are they advertising to us for? And why do we have “brand name” medicines as an option for prescriptions, for that matter?
4. “Thoughts and Prayers”
Look, if it worked, things would actually change. “Thoughts and Prayers” don’t stop bullets, and they don’t prevent PTSD or any of the other myriad issues that combat veterans, school children, and black americans face, or anything else, for that matter. It’s annoying to hear anyone say it, and it’s frustrating hearing people in power say it so often, as opposed to making lasting positive changes, or saying it and standing directly in the way of positive change. I mean, that newsweek article is nearly five years old and some politicians are still using the line, just like the onion reuses this article after every mass shooting. It’s utter shite, it’s weird, and I hate it.
5. White Americans saying they’re *Insert Western European Country*
White folks in the states have a propensity for saying they’re something they aren’t. I’ve only been back in the states for about three weeks and I’ve heard this or some variation of it about once a day. That’s not hyperbolic, I started keeping tabs on June 5th. By and large people say they’re Irish. I’ve heard a couple French and German, a single Dutch. Naebody I overheard said they were from outside the UK or Western Europe, which I also find strange; it’s as if there’s some unwritten code that says folks from outside of here either can’t be proud or aren’t proud of their ancestors’ heritage.
Regardless, it’s an incredibly strange behaviour, which really hit home in Scotland. Here’s the scene:
A first-year phd student at our university is being introduced to an american masters student and myself.
Faf, a second-year phd says, “She’s Irish, she grew up with Caoimhe” (Caoimhe is a great friend, and also a phd in department). The american guy perks up and says, “Oh! My people!”
“Mmmm. No”, says the actual Irish person — as in the one who grew up there, not the kid from Atlanta. She walks away without saying anything else.
Anyway, that’s the stuff I’ve found most weird, so far. Or the more gentle ones, at least. And, for a pretty interesting look at white americans on twitter check out this article and the twitter poll at the center of it all.
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