Women, girls, and my girl

Being a father of a daughter

I love my daughter very very very much and I’m concerned for her well-being. She is only a year old and quickly growing. Being a girl in today’s society is difficult. How do I as her dad help her flourish, keep her safe?

One experience specifically has made me consider my daughters existence as a female more than any other. The experience was in no way connected to her beyond her gender. As well as the gender of me, my co-founder, and a certain investor I will not name—we were all male.

I’m the co-founder of a startup called We&Co. We are early, building a product focused on making living and working in the hospitality industry better. The product has been through a few incarnations. It’s soul has become less altruistic, but more useful so we are selling it to restaurants, which brings me to the conversation I, my co-founder, and this certain investor—not an investor of We&Co I should mention—were having.

We told him that we going to hire a sales person. At the mention of this, he offered some advice. “Hire a girl who is cute, but you don’t want to fuck.”

Instead of throwing the coke I had ordered in his face and storming out, my co-founder and I chuckled—in amazement as much as anything—and continued the conversation. Since that exchange, my estimation of this investor has diminished and I have vividly day dreamed of storming out on him, but I didn’t. I let it slide.

That statement is frightening in its reality. The reality that it was and could be stated. And the reality that it has the semblance of truth in our society. Today a woman can be judged for no more than her fuckability—I’m looking at you Miss America Pageant .

I know that it will be a reality that my daughter will be judged based on her physical traits. Men will be in positions and make poor decisions based on the wrong set of traits.

But as for me, I hope I can create a more welcoming environment for women. I hope I can make decisions about woman based on the right set of traits. And I hope I can let my moral outrage fly next time I fear for my daughter.

Perhaps, I will forward the link of this post to that certain investor.