🏠 Home & The Myth of “Going Back”

“Perhaps my biggest problem with coming from countries is the myth of going back to them. I’m often asked if I plan to “go back” to Ghana. I go to Accra every year, but I can’t go back to Ghana… We can never go back to a place and find it exactly where we left it. Something somewhere will always have changed; most of all ourselves. — Taiye Selasi

I asked friends for feedback on my article We’re all exiles now. One of them pointed me to this TED Talk by Taiye Selasi. Her talk, “Don’t Ask Where I’m From, Ask Where I’m a Local”, expresses some of the same feelings about “going back” I attempted to express in my post. But there’s much more to this talk than just that. Selasi expresses a much richer idea of identity and belonging than just nationality. The entire talk is well worth watching.

I especially appreciate the contrast in her title between the two get to know you questions: “Where are you from?” vs. “Where are you local?”. She makes the point that for her and many others “Where are you from?” isn’t nearly as meaningful as “Where are you local?”.

Her three-Rs test for “Where are you a local?” is brilliant:

• Rituals — “Think of your daily rituals. What kind of rituals are these? Where do they occur?”
• Relationships — “What relationships shape your weekly emotional experience?” Where do those people live?
• Restrictions — “Where are you able to live? Are you restricted by racism, civil war, dysfunctional governance or, economic inflation, from living in the locality where you had your rituals as a child?”

As a transplant from dutch-dominated western Michigan, a great-grandson of a German immigrant, and an explorer of Seattle’s cultural diversity I can feel local in some unexpected places. But, I’ve never run into the teeth of restrictions. One of the greatest blessings of being from the United States is the flexibility and freedom citizens have to move around the country and the world.

I appreciate the stories Taiye Selasi shares as they highlight a reality I can too easily overlook. Many of my friends live with restrictions created by forces beyond the control of everyday people. Governments, economics, war, and politics put up walls creating separation. This adds flesh to a word I ignored in the definition of exile. A word that creates a much more severe, painful version of exile — compulsion.

Ex·ile — noun: A person who lives away from their home either by choice or compulsion.

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