The Many, Many Things I Have Lost
I am not a careless person, yet I like to live in the moment. As a result, I occasionally take my mind off of things. In my short 26 years, I have lost so much crap, I decided it would be fun to make a list. This does not include the countless amount of change lost in the couch, the glassware I have broken and had to throw away, or the thousands of socks that disappear during the laundry (seriously, where do those things go?). Hopefully, this list makes you feel better about yourself, or at least gives you a chance to laugh at my misfortune.
•A Columbia Titanium snow jacket, worn for multiple ski seasons. A gift from my Dad that I completely took for granted. An amazing coat that probably could have lasted me twenty years, had I kept better track of it.
•A black and blue pinstripe bomber jacket, bought at Pacsun in high school. You know that one coat you wear everywhere? This was it. Still mad about it actually.
Location: Completely unknown
•My orginal Gameboy Color, with Pokemon Silver version in the game slot. It was that semi-clear light purple one. Mine had tape over the batteries and hundreds of hours of game time on the buttons. Taken by my father as a punishment for not doing homework. This one still keeps me up at night.
Location: Disappeared from my Dad’s possession, possibly a landfill
•Season 1 of Lost, no pun intended. Loaned to a friend so they could catch up, but I never got it back, and (of course) I forget who I gave it to in the first place.
Location: Probably still at my friend’s house
•A Canon T6 DSLR camera. My biggest and best 25th birthday present. I captured over six thousand photos in 8 months. Stolen from my towel during a day-drunk stupor out on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.
Location: Pawn Shop?
•A beige N64 hoodie, large. One of my few purchases from Urban Outfitters, but damn was it sick.
•An iPhone 5, when they were new. I was blackout coming back from The Local in Boone, NC, and have a hazy memory of pulling it out to use the flashlight. I also remember, it was dead. In the dark, I fell down hard. I assume it tumbled out of my hand during said fall. Went back to look for it, but never found it.
Location: A bush somewhere
•The keys to my 1993 Volvo 940 Station Wagon, complete with a San Francisco Giant’s lanyard, my house key and a bottle opener. I drove my car to my Dad’s apartment, so it had to be there. For three days, I tore that tiny two bed-one bath place apart. No idea where it went. Location: Probably stolen by a raccoon
•A San Francisco Giants On-Field Premier Full-Zip Jacket, my favorite article of clothing, given to me by an ex-girlfriend’s older brother. Left behind at a climbing gym. Missing by the time I came back to get it.
Location: Some frat bro’s closet in San Luis Obispo, CA
•A seatbelt belt from a classic Ford Mustang (maybe a reproduction designed to look like a real seatbelt), lost somewhere in my own house.
Location: FOUND! Somehow, my mom sent this to me in college in a care package. No idea where it actually was hiding.
Location: My closet
•A Michael Kors watch, in black and silver. Purchased, on sale, at TJ Maxx. Stolen from my bed (WHILE I WAS SLEEPING IN IT) in a hostel in Barcelona.
Location: Some European’s wrist
•A pair of black Beats by Dre over-the-ear headphones, the oringinal model. Stolen out of my backpack along with a cheap pair of sunglasses by a gypsy in Lloret Del Mar, Spain. Keep away from strange beat-boxing strangers at 4 in the morning.
Location: Black market
•A Samsung S5 Active, a wonderful phone with over 500 photos of European door knobs and knockers (collected for a coffee table book) and hundreds more snaps of tourist sights. Stolen straight out of my pocket in a club in Madrid.
Location: Black market
•One-hundred and fifteen dollars, in cold American cash. This was heartbreaking. Right after waiting tables all morning (and killing it) all my tips fell out of my pocket on the bike ride home.
Location: Hopefully in the hands of someone who needed it
•A pocket vaporizer, with a full cartridge of Sour Diesel. Another casualty out of my pocket while riding my bike. I now carry a backpack for my things, if I am on my bike.
Location: With a hobo, I hope
•A 1980’s Burton Motion 156 snowboard, complete with an illustration of two badass dragons. This was a weird on because it fell off my feet while I was on the chair lift. Ski patrol couldn’t find it, and the resort people were assholes. A few days later (after a massive snowstorm) I was berating a woman from HR about their incompetence, and some staff member magically pulled it from a broom closet. Who knows how they found it, because they told me many times it was lost.
Location: In my garage, waiting on snow season!
•A Macbook Pro, from 2006. Stolen out of my backpack on an Amtrak bus, while I was in the bathroom for less than a minute. Huge let down, not to mention all the stuff I had on that thing.
Location: Pawn Shop, probably
•Two winning scratcher tickets, about $15 in winnings. I was planning on turning the winnings into more tickets, so who knows the real value of these. They flew out of my pocket as I ran to catch a bus (sensing a theme here with my pockets?)
Location: The streets of San Francisco
•Wallets, yes there are multiple. A beautiful tan leather one from Granada, Spain. A skinny black one from high school. A money clip. Another black leather one (not real leather)
Location: With the borrowers
•Debit cards, seperate from my wallets. I am not sure how this happens, but I had a debit card fall out of my wallet about a month ago and have no idea how it and only it went missing from my wallet. I also left a few at bars and restaurants in the past.
Location(s): The trash (after theives realized I am broker than a joke)
•Sunglasses, SO MANY. I never buy nice sunglasses because of this, but still. Probably twenty to thirty pairs of metal, plastic and wood frames, including a sweet pair my Dad bought in the ’80s and an awesome pair of Batman Ray Bans.
Location(s): Cars, buses, classrooms, parks, the ocean (at least three pairs), various rivers, etc.
•Headphones, again too many to count. The iPhone white ones, black cheap-os, and a pair recently that had one of the ear buds ripped out.
•My prescription eyeglasses. Shocked these are still with me. got my first pair in 2015 and still have them!
•My ability to laugh at my own foolishness. Thank God.