Five Unsurprising Facts About The Senate Health Care Bill
- Protects coverage for middle-aged white men who breathe like an elderly pug when they’re on the can.
- Specifically pulls coverage from people “who aren’t like ‘poor poor’ but have to choose weekly between doing laundry and putting gas in their Toyota Yaris.”
- Is printed on the prepared skins of people who died because they refused to use a healthcare system promoted by and named for a black.
- Had several references to “offering these new souls to the Dark Sultan who rules Sheol, He who hath made himself our master and lord” removed.
- Includes an emergency provision for coverage for cartoon characters in case they become real like in Roger Rabbit.