How Do I Explain My Total Enlightenment To Stupid Assholes?

Short of becoming a hermit, there’s no way around it: we all must deal with other people. Sometimes this is a seemingly exceedingly difficult task. All the same, we cannot run from our responsibility any more than the deer can run from the cheetah or the zebra can run from the faster zebra.

Upon beginning the study of the teachings of the Buddha four months ago, I became an enlightened being free from the shackles of hatred and sadness. But some of the morons I deal with on a daily basis don’t share my core beliefs. I’ve been repeatedly subjected to comments like “This is a phase” and “I’m glad for you, but punching the wall because you spilled your orange Slice doesn’t seem very much like the Buddha.”

Well as the Buddha teaches, fuck them haters. You can’t let these nay-saying sacks of shit deter you from the righteous path. From all sides you may be beset with challengers, and sometimes you’ll have to answer to them as the tree responds to the wind: bending, but not breaking, unless there’s a really strong gust, then it’s a mess and the branches are just all over the goddamn place. Be firm in your resolve, and let them know you’re so much better than their stupid asses.

It’s important to remember that these idiots aren’t enlightened, calm beings like you. They are like the water as it rushes down the mountain: taking the path of least resistance and going all over the fucking place, like the water as it rushes along following the rains. Be patient with them, as patience is a both a sign and side-effect of being so much better than these twats you work with or the nitwits at the corner bar who think you’re all gay now but then you’re like “No, fuck you, I’m just in a state of cosmic contentment you dopey apes.”

In conclusionalness, the fox and the hound were friends, and so you must be as to the being of who you are being now in the state of perfection you’ve achieved in these past few weeks. Do not fret. You’ll be rid of these jerks soon enough when all this Buddhism pays off after you write your best selling book on your journey to the godmind and you buy a giant fucking house far away from these losers.