“Please Stop Tying Our Product To Jizz” By The National Pineapple Council

Hello, friends and fellow pineapple lovers. We’d like to take a moment to first thank you for buying American pineapples. They’re nature’s sweetest treat, healthy and delicious. And we’re confident there are as many reasons people love pineapple as there are pineapples. But there is one specific reason we’ve heard often that we’d like to address. The claim that eating pineapple will make your cum taste sweeter.

Believe it or not, we like to have fun here at the National Pineapple Council, and we agree fun can sometimes include mouth to genital contact. But it seems anymore whenever pineapples are in the media, it’s in some way addressing the claim that sweet, ripe pineapple will make your goo, or even lady jizz for you squirters, taste like a tropical cocktail.

As we said, we are FINE with people taking it right in the mouth. But there’s so much more to love about pineapples than they’re natural propensity to change cum flavors. Pineapples aid digestion! Did you know that? The specific acid makeup of the pineapple flesh aids in the breakdown of proteins, which is why it makes such a great marinade addition. Pineapple contains high amounts of Vitamin C, important for health skin and immune function.

And yes, pineapple will make your creamy emissions taste more like a pina colada. But please, talk about something other than this. Being known as “the thing that makes cum taste better” is quite an honor, sure, but not the only thing we want to be tied to. Thanks, and keep eating that pineapple (and cum if you like it).

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