CELEBRATING THE LIFE OF YOUR LOST LOVED ONE IN THE 21ST CENTURY
J.G. Sandom
Studies by the Cremation Association of North America (CANA) and the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) indicate that fewer Americans today are looking to include a religious component in their end-of-life planning. A couple of decades ago, about 95% of Americans reported belonging to a religious group. Today, it’s more like 75%. And fewer Americans are actively religious. According to some studies, the percentage of “regular churchgoers” may now be as low as 15%.
The same is true of funerals generally. In 2000, only 25% of Americans chose cremation over a traditional funeral (i.e. embalming, coffin, viewing/funeral service, and burial). Now, the cremation rate has climbed to almost 53% nationally, and it’s more than 70% in some states.
This is as much a function of cost and eco-awareness and the mobility of the American culture as it is its secularization. While the average funeral runs $7-$10k, cremations generally cost much less — around $2-$3k. And today, some Net entrepreneurs are leveraging new technologies designed to disintermediate funeral directors altogether, disrupting the entire industry while offering consumers much lower prices. When booked online or by phone, an all-inclusive direct cremation from Cremstar, for example, starts at just $995, and includes: pickup of the deceased; overnight storage (if required); filing of state forms; Social Security notification; a complimentary death certificate; cardboard cremation tray; the cremation process itself; and a basic container for the cremains, also known as ashes.
The cremation rate is rising across the country at a dramatic rate. In 2000, it was just 25%. Today, it’s almost 53%.
But while Americans may be less religious today, studies also show we’re still a highly spiritual people.
“A growing body of research suggests the U.S. decline in traditional religious belief, identity and practice does not reflect a decline in underlying spiritual inclination,” says Dr. Clay Routledge, the nation’s leading expert on nostalgia, memory and death, and the author of 85 scientific papers on the subject. He attributes this “underlying spiritual inclination” to that very human, “concern with existential questions and search for meaning.”
Memorialization, the act of celebrating the life of a lost loved one, addresses these existential issues head-on and lets friends and family create a community of memories around the departed.
Today, technology can only enhance and empower this community. Here is how and why you should consider online memorialization options such as MemoryBox.
MemoryBox
MemoryBox is the world’s leading online memorialization website and app. By creating a MemoryBox Memorial (a so-called People Memory), you, your family and friends can post and share photos and remembrances of your lost loved one online — simply, from any device, and from anywhere in the world. Plus, it serves as a place you can return to, again and again. (Note: Every Cremstar cremation comes with a complimentary MemoryBox Memorial.)
You can even create a Show (slideshow) of the best pics from your online Memorial and display it with a projector, or through a large flat-screen monitor, during your lost loved one’s memorial ceremony. Have the Show automatically cycle through your favorite sequence of stills.
MemoryBox is also the only free app that lets everyone at the same event take pictures with their smartphone or tablet and they’re automatically uploaded into a single, cloud-based Life Celebration (an Events Memory). Simply create your Life Celebration, set the date and time, and share the URL with family and friends. Even if you use the default photo function on your iPhone or iPad to capture your images versus the MemoryBox app, all the pics everyone takes at the time of the event will be automatically added to the Life Celebration.
Or, capture your Life Celebration as it happens; create an Events Memory in “Stream Mode” and live-broadcast it as it’s being constructed — out of the photos your guests are in the process of taking!
Finally, each MemoryBox Memory comes with a unique QR code. If you’re planning a Life Celebration event, print out the code of your Life Celebration Memory on your invitations, as well as on your table tents and/or place setting nametags. Guests can easily scan the QRC with their iPhone or iPad (iOS 11+), and it will bring them to the Memory of the event instantly for easy joining. That way, every photo they take at the function will be added to the Life Celebration Memory automatically.
MemoryBox Memories — whether People Memorial Memories or Events Life Celebration Memories — all serve to create a community where shared media enable us to define, honor and preserve our lost loved ones. The system even helps us process and manage our grief more effectively. “If you’re a family member or friend of someone who’s dying, or of someone who has recently passed, MemoryBox can help you cope with your loss more effectively, delivering real clinical benefits,” concludes Dr. Routledge.
Planning Your Own Life Celebration Event For Your Lost Loved One
While Americans may be less religious today, the vast majority of us still find value in participating in an event whose primary purpose is to honor and celebrate the life of the departed. We’re just less likely to do it in a house of worship, or under the ministry of a pastor, cleric or rabbi.
Americans are increasingly producing their own events and designing them specifically to reflect the lives of their lost loved ones. And they’re thinking outside of the box. Instead of restricting themselves to traditional houses of worship, they’re booking banquet halls and restaurants, cinemas, clubs and parks (urban, state and national), or throwing Life Celebrations and post-Memorial dinners (repasts) in private residences.
As venues, restaurants and banquet halls make food planning easy. But caterers are always available, no matter what the location — from beaches to mountaintops. Some planners prefer to invite guests to bring food, potluck remembrances. And often menus are designed to reflect the culinary taste of the departed. Were they crazy about Italian food? Did they love spicy Middle Eastern, Mexican or Chinese cuisine? Were they nuts about dim sum or Polish pierogi?
The same goes for music. Hosts may invite guests to pick the top ten songs they most clearly associate with the lost loved one. Playlists can be self-produced or handed over to a professional DJ hired especially for the event. Music at a Life Celebration is like a walk through a lost loved one’s life, so make sure you take all the time required to research and produce a great playlist.
And, speaking of hosts, it’s important to remember that the spouse or best friend or close relative of the deceased isn’t necessarily the best MC for the job. Often, emotions get in the way of delivering instructions to support staff and helpers, let alone keynote farewell speeches. Consider picking a friend who will keep your event on track as the MC, or hire a professional “death doula” to help you design and execute your Life Celebration.
Finally, it’s important to remember that Life Celebration events are just the beginning, not the end. More extended families converge at weddings and funerals than at any other time. Take advantage of your event to reconnect with family and friends as you honor and celebrate the life of your lost loved one. It is their parting that has brought you together in the first place and, through MemoryBox, it can help keep you together indefinitely.
5 KEY TAKEAWAYS
● Think outside of the box when picking a venue. Don’t be limited by houses of worship or funeral homes.
● When it comes to food and music, let your lost loved one be your guide. Have guests submit recipes or actual potluck meals, plus playlists of tunes that they identify with the departed.
● In addition to producing an online Memorial (People Memory) at MemoryBox honoring your lost loved one, make sure to also create a Life Celebration (Events Memory) of your function, share the link with invited guests, and print its unique QR code on table tents and/or place setting nametags for easy joining.
● When it comes to picking the MC for your Life Celebration event, a dispassionate friend or professional death doula is often preferable to an overwrought relative or spouse.
● Life Celebration events are just the beginning, not the end. More extended families converge at weddings and funerals than at any other time. Take advantage of your event to reconnect with family and friends as you honor the person who brought you together — your lost loved one.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
J.G. Sandom is Chairman and CEO of Mnemania, Inc., parent company of Cremstar and MemoryBox. Cremstar is the #1 Name in Direct Cremations Online and MemoryBox is the World’s Leading Online Memorialization Website and App.
Let Cremstar take care of all the paperwork and logistics so that you can focus on what’s most important: taking care of yourself and your family, and remembering and celebrating the life of your lost loved one through MemoryBox.
