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Okay, I realize that to people in their 40s, being in their 40s is a Big Deal, but trust me, more bumps coming. But OMG, woman, unless you Photoshopped the living crap out of that picture, you look like you have the body of a runner! [Oh, you are a runner. Well, then, you… look like you. Moving on.]

FWIW, my wife turned 62 last month, which is a milestone birthday, although you probably have no idea why. (Anybody? Yes, you in the back with the gray hair… Correct, she qualified for early Social Security. See, nobody in their 40s has a clue about that, unless they work for the SSA.) The same week that she finally had a use for her Social Security card, she went on six extreme roller coaster rides with her teenage nephew, rides her (somewhat younger) husband stayed off (yes, my wife is a cougar—what’s your point?). I’m not sure any of that has any connection with you, I’m just really proud of my wife and this seemed like a nice spot to mention it.

Anyway, getting back to you: keep that attitude, keep icing your knees, and when you get to my wife’s age you can bitch about how your marathon times totally suck. Never noticing the looks of envy from other women, because their faces will have so much botox they can’t actually change expression anymore.

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