Subtexts, Love, and Respect


When a woman says something emotionally, there may be multiple, even contradictory, subtexts lurking beneath the words themselves. I was reminded how complex this can be while reading in the book of Job:

Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” (2:9)

What did she mean by this? Possibly many things.

  • “This is too hard. I want out!” (Die already, for both our sakes!)
  • “I’m angry because you’re so calm. I can’t be calm.”
  • “You don’t deserve this.”
  • “I love you too much to watch you go through this.”
  • “There is no way we can recover from this. We’re done.”

It is interesting to note that underneath all the pain in her words was a high compliment that must have made Job feel very respected: “You’ve done nothing but good, Job. Think of all the people you’ve helped.” Job could have reacted to the selfish subtexts, the fear, or the lack of faith in God. Yet he knew his wife so thoroughly, and loved her so unconditionally, that his response was gentle and firm:

“You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” (2:10)

These words formed a bedrock of faith on which he invited his wife to join him. Did she? There is no further mention of Job’s wife. It is unknown whether she stayed at his side while he suffered. It is quite plausible that she was so pained and angry that she left him for a time, along with all his other friends and family (save four). At any rate, it does not appear that she was very helpful to Job. You don’t see her tending his sores, or running off his provoking friends.

Despite whatever she did or didn’t do, Job’s love for his wife endured, for the story ends on this note:

[Job] had seven sons and three daughters….in all the land no women were found so fair as Job’s daughters. (42:13–15)

I personally believe that to raise such beautiful women, his relationship with his own wife had to be a thing of great beauty. There is no greater beauty than that of unconditional love and respect.