DAD.
You broke my heart before I even knew heartbreak existed. The funny thing about that is, I continued to let you break my heart. I let you make me feel like an inconvenience, like I was never going to be good enough. But, I want to thank you. Thank you for never letting me expect too much from people, since I could never expect anything from you. Thank you for never showing up, for teaching me that it’s okay to be alone. Thank you for leaving me. Thank you for forgetting about me and my problems. Because of your poor attendance rate, I am so much stronger. You taught me that no, I probably will never be good enough for you. But because of that, I have become good enough for myself. Somedays, I have really, really bad days. Somedays I wish you were here. But then I realize even if you were here, you wouldn’t actually be here. I realize that you will only be proud of me and actually act as though you are a part of me, when I accomplish something great. But I want you to know, you will not be thanked in the way you think you would be. You are on the opposing team. Maybe that’s how it is supposed to be. Maybe I never really needed you, or maybe I only needed you to teach me how to not be. I used to look up to you. I used to respect you. I used to admire everything you did. I now can only look at you and see heartbreak. So, thank you, Dad, for continuously breaking my heart. You’ve done more damage to me than some silly boy could ever do. But, don’t take this personal, you made a great kid. I am a respectful, hard-working, determined, overly kind young lady and I plan on doing so many great things in my life. But, you’ll probably overlook all of them as accomplishments. Just like you have with everything else I’ve done. This is me, branching off from you. I will no longer live in your shadow or be bullied by people who are supposed to be my family. Instead of you creating my name for me, I will begin to create my own. And your name will be seen nowhere near it. I will burry your existence in the back of my head just as you’ve done to me.
Sincerely,
Your former daughter
Julia.