The Power of Saying “NO”.
“No” — two alphabets, one tiny little word but so powerful. This tiny yet power packed word have been labelled ‘negative’ or even simply being disagreeable and that’s why so many of us find it difficult to say.
Truth is, saying “no” is not saying “it’s not good” or “I hate it”, saying “no” simply is — you exercising your rights to express and sticking to your decision. Remember, it’s your right, not a privilege.
I found myself being stuck in the very same situation for many years, especially in a social setting when peer pressure arises. It’s usually the inability the say “no” to one more drink, “no” to going out to that really expensive dinner place, “no” to watching a horror movie I utterly do not enjoy.
So why do so many of us have trouble saying “no”? The truth lies not in the obvious — humans have a need to please. Pleasing others simple means putting their objectives above yours. Their feelings vs yours. Our inability to say “no” in hopes of reassuring someone else or making them feel happy takes a toll on ourselves. We end up having to do something out of an obligation that we put ourselves through in the first place. This can make us feel uncomfortable and honestly, it’s unfair to the other person because let’s face it, you weren’t completely honest when you said “yes”, right?
Disregarding your decision, needs and wants may seem right and selfless (we’re taught to not be self-absorbed). We’ve always been taught to be accommodating and to give, not take. Honestly, just because it’s easier to say “yes” doesn’t mean we should or have to. Sometimes, saying “no” could result in a better outcome for both parties (though I’d like to disclaim that it’s not always the case).
How do I say it and not sound harsh? Of course, wanting to express “no” can be done delicately and in so many different ways. For instance, “how about next time?”, “that may not be the best for me right now” and even “rain check?” are simply ways of saying no but can be understood and accepted immediately without awkward feelings.
After all, there’s always going to be a next time. So remember, when it comes to anchoring a decision in, your decision will always be yours. Saying “no” is absolutely your right, but remember to also say it right. ;)
About the author:
Hi! I’m Jia nina, one half Indian one half mystery, loves PR chatter & digital marketing, part-time evangelist, I’m all about game development & occasionally binging on Netflix.Currently in Malaysia/Singapore. Connect with me via Twitter or LinkedIn.