Stop Romanticizing It and Start Earning It
This past weekend, I co-hosted The Radiance Retreat, a 3-day mindset, fitness and business event here in Los Angeles. Fifty women came in from all over the country to learn, grow, challenge themselves and connect with one another.
This is the 5th event that my friends, Jen Sinkler and Neghar Fonooni, and I have put on, and honestly, we say it every SINGLE time, but this was the best one yet! Ha!
The women who showed up were open, present, accepting and hungry to elevate their games — both physically and mentally — and as is always the case, I left the event charged up and inspired by all that I met.
After the final (semi-boozy) brunch event Sunday, I went home, relaxed for a minute and then went for a leisure walk to catch the sunset.
I was standing on the beach watching the sunset when a guy came over and started setting up his tripod about 10 feet from me, ready to get a pic of the sunset too.
The water’s edge was really close, and at one point, a wave came up and almost toppled his tripod. He grabbed it just in time and when it all happened, we looked at each other kind of surprised and laughed like, “That was a close one!”
But the small connection started a conversation.
Well, not a conversation per se, but instead had him immediately launching into how he was just getting started as an amateur photog, and how he couldn’t believe that he got to do this. At one point he literally gave me his phone to scroll through all the shots he’d recently captured on a ranch in Arizona, and told me how he COULD BARELY SLEEP he was so INTOXICATED with shooting. He went on and on and on about how passionate he is about photography and “I don’t even care if I ever get paid, I just want these images to exist in the world!”
I probably said 10 words total, and they consisted of, “That’s awesome!” and, “Good for you!” and “Totally!”
I COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE.
But in that moment, I was so glad I was the one to receive his enthusiasm. To witness someone expressing their passion for their work to emphatically. It was awesome.
I walked away after about 10 minutes of just listening.
I didn’t need to introduce myself. I didn’t need to tell him what I did for a living. I didn’t need to share my own stuff.
My only job was to receive that download of passion and purpose.
It was the best!
And … probably not a coincidence.
Not a coincidence that I’d just finished 3 full days of witnessing 50 women find, elevate or double-down on their passion.
Not a coincidence that my job as a business coach in the Best of You is to help women capture and access their passion and clarity in the moments of discouragement and frustration.
Not a coincidence that last week on Facebook and IG, I was on a little bit of a tear about DOING SHIT FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR LOVE FOR IT.
This is something I think we all — me included — forget sometimes.
Can’t you just do something because you love it? Just cause you wanna without HAVING TO HAVE this big fairytale end result?
Why does it always have to be “to get rich,” or “to get lean,” or “to lose 30 pounds,” or to “get married” or “to buy the dream car.” WHATEVER.
I think we are allowed to just do things we like.
Create for the sake of it. Create something because at one point, just enjoying yourself was good enough justification.
I got into the fitness industry because I fell in love with exercise — most notably aerobics. I loved to dance, move to the beat and if I got to sweat a little, that was a bonus.
Doing hours of step aerobics won’t get me cut, jacked and super lean, but I’ll enjoy the heck out of it. So I’ll still do it sometimes.
Because here’s the thing: if you don’t love the means, you won’t ever sustain the ends.
If you are doing something difficult — like building your own business, building a body or building a relationship — the goal can’t be the goal. That will have you frustrated constantly, miserable, distracted, dissatisfed and never feeling good enough.
Enjoyment of every single part of the process it takes to attain that goal needs to be actual goal.
Yes, making money is nice. Yes, losing weight can be nice. Yes, getting married can be nice. Yes, accomplishing a big goal can be nice.
But you don’t get to have those things without finding a way to engage in the process for the process’s sake.
You don’t get somewhere by romanticizing the end result. You get there by loving the hell out of every part of the journey itself.
Create for the sake of it.
Just like my photographer.
Do something this week just because you wanna.
Tap into your passion.
Go back to why you started down this path. What was THE THING that you wanted to create? Or THE THING you wanted to do?
You don’t “get lean,” you adopt a healthier lifestyle one choice at a time.
You don’t “get rich,” you create something worth getting paid for, and that doesn’t happen in 5 months.
You don’t “get jacked,” you slowly and methodically lift weights for a long ass time, without having to check yourself in the mirror every second or step on the scale daily.
You don’t “get into the perfect relationship,” you do the internal work to become someone you can be proud of and feel worthy of FIRST. You double down on you as an individual first.
Because before the money can come, before the relationship can come, before the leanness or muscle can come, you have to find a way to love the path you’re on right now. For it’s intrinsic value. For the learning, the growth, even the tough-ass lessons.