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There’s a common saying, I wonder if you know it: “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

I don’t love it.

I understand what it’s trying to inspire — a motto for us to remember what we deserve and only keep people in our lives who can handle it when we show up not-so-perfectly.

But, I dunno, the thing that bothers me is … if we love this person, if they really mean that much to us, I feel like we should go out of our way to make them feel appreciated and considered, not dumped on and like they get the worst of us. …

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I’ve had dozens of mentors in my life. Some I paid for, some came into my life at the right time with the right message, some whom I’ve never met, and some who I reluctantly needed.

The one thing they all had in common? Their mentorship provided a clear roadmap and the support I needed in a specific area of my life that still required mastery.

That’s why having a mentor is the most valuable — it answers the questions: who can light the way for me, and who can support me through my own growing process?

Mentors provide two things:

  1. Tactical know-how (this is why they’re often also a coach or a…

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Welcome to the fitness space, where integrity is hard to come by.

I’ve been employed in the fitness industry since I was 15, when I got a job at my local neighborhood gym’s NURSERY just to get the free membership.

Since then, I’ve managed fitness centers, corporate wellness facilities, run group fitness programs, created university personal training programs, developed certification curriculums, personal trained from sun up to sun down, spoken on stages to hundreds of people, written for fitness publications, and more.

And over the last 9 years, I’ve run an online fitness company, JillFit, where all of my services have been virtual.

Online fitness is a huge industry. People anywhere in the world can work with the fitness trainer/influencer/Instafamous model/coach of their choosing, no matter where in the globe they’re located. More people are buying coaching services virtually than ever, whether it’s fitness coaching, nutrition consultation or — mostly what I do now — business mentorship. …

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A mentor of mine said, the only thing that keeps it in your life is that you keep thinking about it.

Is it possible to give up thoughts that are keeping you mired in misery and pain?

Could it be that simple?

I believe it could, but not without courage and not without letting go of a little bit of ego.

I spent a year and a half living in self-righteousness and resentment after my ex-husbands affair.

I positioned myself as a victim and he the perpetrator (society would confirm I was right and justified, of course), but my day-to-day reality was one of pain. Understandably.

I’d vent to my friends, they’d agree with me. I’d talk to my therapist, she agreed with me. I even went to a 3-day personal development retreat and I spent the whole time venting about my marriage, using phrases like, “Can you believe he did this??! And then he had the AUDACITY to do that!!” …

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An Emerging Journey from Broken and Cynical to Vulnerable and Hopeful

“So, you’re, like, faking it until you make it.”

I was walking down the street with a girlfriend of mine, and she was asking me about my new romantic relationship.

“You’re doing all the right things, even though you still have a wall up.”

See, my husband of 10 years had a 2-year affair while we were married.

I found out later on, we tried to work on things for a year, until I saw that nothing was changing and opted to leave the marriage.

Then I drove 3,000 miles across country and started a new life in Los Angeles.

Leaving was hard. The drive was hard. Setting up shop in LA without knowing a single person was hard. …

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A friend of mine recently turned me on to a fitness “influencer” who had undergone his own physical transformation — going from 300 lbs (twice) down to 180 lbs and now running ultramarathons, and helping others get in shape.

My friend is an athlete, always in great shape, in his early 30s and he resonates strongly with this influencer’s brand of hardcore motivation (#NoExcuses #GoHardOrGoHome #GiveZeroFucks, etc).

And when I mentioned my nutrition philosophy, #Moderation365, my friend said, “Well so-and-so says, ‘Moderation is for cowards.’”

I fucking loved this.

It felt like one of those moments when someone is so adamant about something, and you know they’re wrong, so you bet them $20, knowing you’re gonna be 20 bones richer in a matter of Google minutes. …

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Life is just a series of opportunities to get over yourself.

I once had a mentor who said, “If you complain about something three times, you’re obligated to find a solution.”

But here’s the thing. In the moment, complaining feels easier than action. Deflecting blame, shirking responsibility and defending to the death feel better than doing the hard work of radical responsibility.

But, in my experience and like Elizabeth Gilbert says, “I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting sick of their own bullshit.”

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Jill Coleman, @JillFit, photo credit: Violet Artistry

The confusion you feel when being told not to care about your looks, while also being judged solely on your looks🤔

My friend Danny-J and I were hanging out with an acquaintance of ours, who happened to be a 47-year old single guy here in Los Angeles.

He was telling us why he and his latest girlfriend broke up. She was 28 years old and they split because he was pressuring her to have a baby, but she refused because she didn’t want to get pregnant.

“Can you believe that?!” he asked us, incredulously. “It’s so selfish. Looks fade anyway, what’s the big deal, it’s only 9 months.”

At this point, Danny and I had many follow-ups, but the most pressing was, “So what if she doesn’t want to get pregnant and have her body change. That’s understandable, and no, it’s not selfish at all. It’s 100% her prerogative, and you don’t really have a say in that.” …

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“You’re the queen of selling without selling.”

I was on a coaching call with one of my mastermind members and we were chatting about how to talk about her latest online program as a service to those who need it. And she responded with the above.

This got me to thinking …

I don’t think of myself as a sales person.

If you asked me how to “overcome objections” on the phone with someone I would have no fucking clue. …

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Why You Should Say Yes a Lot More

A few years back, I was coaching Luke, a newly-certifed personal trainer who wanted to take his business online and sign some distance clients.

At the time, Luke had no clients. Which was fine, but a perculiar thing started happening when we began talking strategy for filling up his books:

“Okay Jill, sounds good, but I want to make sure I don’t have any clients scheduled for the mornings because I need to get my workout in, meditate for 30 minutes and leisure walk, too.”

“Okay, so then we can stack your client calls in the afternoon and evenings.”

“Cool, except for Mondays and Wednesdays when I have some standing appointments. And I’m a little worried to open up coaching and then have my schedule completely packed. I need to make sure I’m doing things…


Jill Coleman, JillFit

Owner at JillFit, where I help female health/fitness pros how to start and grow their online coaching. Email →

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