Question of the Day: Did You Move for a Relationship?
Nicole Dieker
435

  1. I’ve never moved for a partner, but my partner (husband) has moved with me once (we both were going to grad school in the same new city) and for me once (for me to do more grad school). I feel very grateful to have such a supportive and feminist partner — most of our friends are the inverse of us (couples who moved for the boy one to go to grad school — not that this is necessarily unfeminist) so I’m often aware that we aren’t a default family+decision-making model.
  2. We are a straight couple and I am the lady one!
  3. Both moves happened between or immediately after consecutive degrees for both of us, so it was pretty easy (as easy as moving ever is)
  4. We have joint finances so we paid as a team. Move 2 came with a significant income bump for me, so it made sense as a team decision.
  5. I’m happy because I got to go to my top-choice school. My partner is happy too, generally, but also torn about career/life direction things. This overlaps some with location but is also kind of separate.