If You Can’t Just...
I was buying a gift for a friend during the week. It was for a special occasion and I found myself thinking about the 'usual' types of gifts you would buy for this occasion. I went into a few shops and looked at what they had but it somehow left me cold.
I'm more aware of gifting people 'stuff' anyway since my own decluttering journey began and I could see how so many of the options would be looked at once, maybe displayed for a time and then consigned to a box. It seemed such a waste.
Because there are 'usual' types of gifts as well, it would be really obvious what I had spent on it, there would likely be other similar gifts given..and I didn’t want that to be how mine was perceived - nothing to do with my friend who would be lovely and grateful but these types of commemorative gifts are so transparent! I also didn’t have an unlimited budget so there were some limits. I might not be the 'best' in that category.
It got me thinking: if you can’t just take the easy option, what then?
In this case, I found myself start to think a bit differently. What did I know about my friend? What was something that would stand out? I started to think differently about it.
If you can't just take the easy option then you need to be more creative.
You need to be more inventive. How can I rethink this and do something clever with my knowledge of my friend, the occasion and my resources?
You need to spend more time. Perhaps putting a bit of thought or practical, hands-on effort into something.
You need to really ask questions. What do I know about this person? What do they like? How can I make them feel? What could be a different way to honour this occasion that is true to them?
Sometimes you can't take the easy option for financial or other reasons. But sometimes it's about choosing not to.
There are reasons we don’t choose. It can be easier, in a busy world, to go for the conventional. Buy something, spend a fair bit, job done. It’s also about fitting expectations within our culture. There’s an 'expected' approach to take.
What if doing it differently is a good thing? What if a tighter budget, more thought, more time is good for us? What if those limits actually unleash more creativity, thoughtfulness and inventiveness?
And it's not just about buying things.
If you can't just go out for some ready-made food, you can cook something from scratch or invent something from ingredients you have.
If you can’t just book an expensive package holiday, you can find a way to have new experiences differently - customise a trip in your local area, take days off, find good deals or go on day trips.
If you can't just pay someone to do something for you, find a way to try out a new skill yourself or exchange favours with a friend.
If you can't just add something new to your schedule, find a creative way to combine existing activities or do something totally differently.
If you can't just buy an expensive dress for a wedding, find a way to reimagine one you have, borrow from a friend, or hire.
What if by 'just' taking the easy option, we're actually denying ourselves the opportunity to develop these skills?
What if limits aren't actually a bad thing?
What if you had just 1 minute to give a speech or 500 words to make a case? You would make that minute or those words the most powerful that you possibly could!
What if, by having boundaries, our brain starts to explore them? Work around them, work within them? We give it something to mould around and morph within. Part of its training, its skills.
Perhaps we need to choose to give ourselves this from time to time.
Tim Ferriss in The 4-Hour Work Week recommends this. For a slightly different reason; his rationale is about experiencing life differently to remind yourself to be grateful for what you have. Live with less money, fast, put most of your stuff away, sleep on the floor from time to time. It’s a periodic reminder to be grateful.
What if you can take a similar approach here and sometimes when there's an 'I can just...' option, don't take it. Question it and decide to do it differently.
Take the opportunity to set some limits. Challenge yourself to work round them.
See the opportunity to be:
Thoughtful
Creative
Inventive
Spend time
Really ask questions
And this is not just an opportunity for ourselves. It's an opportunity for others.
I don’t know how my friend’s gift will go down. I know they will be grateful. But I hope they love it, that they see I 'didn’t just' and truly thought about them. And that means so much more.
