The Cost Of My Sexual Assault

I was Raped by my Mother's Live- in Boy-friend , I’ll just call him TOM at 8–9 , I have repressed the Actual Event now that I am 52, my Step mother used to beat me at the same time , I do remember going to counseling “The Child Guidance Center” is what comes to my mind, hours spent playing with blocks while being interrogated by a DR. What has all this Done to me? (I live with my Beagle Betsy ,Who I saved at the shelter , I later found out she has cushings disease, and now at 10, its getting difficult for her, I dont have the $ for medication).Hurmitish, I have type 1 Diabetes and blood Sugar control is something very difficult for me to get my Pea sized brain Around, I have a minor form of Dyslexia,I am legally Blind in both eyes , I have neuropathy in legs and feet. A constant and never ending PAIN that I can’t put into Words.

I am Frightened of Women now, I have Stayed Sexualy inactive for the past 35 years, my being Scared to Women has increased over the years but having faith in Jesus that, has been Tempted More than I can ever Imagine . I was Addicted to Porn, But Jesus has taken that away from me, to which I am truly Grateful and Jesus has taken my Addiction to Meth away as well, And my Addiction to cigarettes for 25 years . I can Say Today I am Reasonably Happy, good days bad days come.

I have a Saviour who Fills in for a Father, A Brother, and a Close friend. I pay Attention to that Still Small voice I hear. That leads me to where I need to be. Strive to Overcome is my motto and my creed .

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