Let You Love Me, Let Me Love You
~And what if I let you love me?~
Get really clear with yourself, honest as fuck.
Raw, vulnerable, uncomfortable….
Get real and own your shit.
Jimena…
Truth.
Allow this space to be a path to liberation.
Allow yourself to meet up with your truth, with what you have been holding off, with the guilt, the shame, the pain, the shortcomings and fears.
Get really clear and real about yourself, with yourself.
It's Virgo season after all, get everything out, sort it out, surrender it all, open it all.
Bare it, don't bury it.
So you can know what must be set on flames.
Where are you lying to yourself?
Where are you holding yourself back?
Where are you sugarcoating, watering your message, your voice, your craft?
Where are you selling yourself short?
Where are you blinding your own self to the truth? To your truths?
Ooh, okay, let's start with me baring some truths…
My dad (my first representation of the masculine in this lifetime) popped up into my awareness again, not in an ethereal, thought/memory kinda way but more in the physical without being quite it.
Blocked.
Numb.
Shocked.
…. nothing….
Yes, I went right away and told Fer (yeah him, the tf, bf…come on roll your eyes or say "awww").
It was such a shock.
Cognitive dissonance.
A clash.
To be aware of the hurt, the pain, the wounding…the trauma, the darkness, whilst I was being held by light in the light.
I was having to face the teacher that came to teach me through suffering and the templates of pain…all of it which had turned into dust now, which wasn't a reality anymore, whilst facing the teacher that came to teach through love and healing, through the templates of unity and ease, of allowing and alignment, which now is the truth, the reality…the possibility.
But the truth is that at that moment I wasn't ready to even admit some truths to myself.
I didn't felt ready to crash again and feel the feels, I convinced myself that I didn't had time and he shouldn't have to hold me through it, that he was better off.
And you know what?
The avoiding, the not really telling him the truth, the not coming clean and straight, the pushing it away cause I didn't felt like working on the sh*t that the universe was bringing into my awareness…
Yeah, that, it snowballed.
You see, when you are wanting and working to be on a certain level of awareness, when you are in this path, when you are a healer, alchemist, high priestess, seeker….
The universe will show you how you cannot play small or pretend anymore, how bullshit is NOT allowed nor tolerated.
How growth, being accountable, full awareness and responsibility is the way…
And the mf twin flame connection uuugh gosh!
That thing literally won't eat up any b.s.
Me, not addressing my shit, he felt it…we felt it…the connection felt it.
And it snowballed.
So, come with me.
Would you please?
I'll bare my demons for you.
I'll scrape my knees unburying the skeletons I yearned to hide.
Let me strip and come clean.
Allow me to unfuck myself before your eyes.
As I own my shit as much as my power.
As I pick up the scattered pieces and burn away the shattered bridges.
It's the masculine you know.
And the feminine if you allow.
Dualities.
Polarities.
Life.
The masculine rising, awakening, healing…coming back to it's divinity.
Yes!!!
But…do you know what it means?
Well it means that the feminine must go and own her divinity too.
No more games.
I cannot play around awakening and awareness, I cannot keep watered down, iffy, mediocre anything.
Unity consciousness is claiming it's spot.
And...do you know what it means?
Well as the masculine steps into their power and the feminine must follow.
The divine masculine needs to be acknowledged as such, no more "mothering/smothering/babying" from the feminine….
We are clearing the way we feel, see, treat and acknowledge the divine masculine.
We are healing the templates, paradigms and projections.
We are clearing and healing the way we walk beside them.
And this guy in my life, gosh…
I am the most fortunate and blessed.
He has shown up, stepped up, held me, healed me, loved me, worked with me.
Yet, I have not always acknowledged him, seen him, given him the space as the divine masculine.
As divine.
I acknowledge it, the ways I have hurt him, put him down, pushed him...in short, I am sorry for all the times when I failed to see the divine in him and in those times I was also being blind to the divine in me.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
The masculine doesn't need to be saved.
The feminine doesn't need to save anyone.
They need each other in their fully owned divinity.
No patronizing, no watering down.
No victims, no victimizers.
No saviors, no "damsels in distress".
Collaboration.
Cooperation.
Partnership.
UNITY.
Full awareness, full responsibility.
Integration of the whole.
This year has been crazy challenging but on another level, and he has been a force to be reckoned.
I haven't been so fully in my feminine or so joyous to be, feeling so safe and welcomed there.
And guys…my moon is in Pisces.
And guys…I'm an empath with intense clairsenses that has got heavy ass complex PTSD and trauma.
My fears and demons have been loud, the pain of the collective has dragged me around and pushed me to the limits of my sanity.
I have crashed down, I have kissed the ground, ran away…punished myself, I have pushed him away and hurt him.
I have had meltdowns, I have crashed down in waves of unstoppable tears.
IN.FRONT.OF.HIM
Yet, every.single.time…
He has stood there not yielding a bit, with that huge ass heart and that softness that has the power to disarm troops, with that strength to hold me while giving me wings.
Him.
The divine masculine.
I was afraid to be me.
Afraid of my gifts and my calling.
Afraid to embody and own my whole self.
Afraid of my waves and my fire…
Of my striking winds.
Afraid to be.
Ashamed of what I have been and what I cannot be and haven't accomplished to be.
To come into union, into oneness, where I always reside, to enter that state of full integration I require full awareness, full accountability.
Divine masculine I have been hiding from you.
Cutting you off.
Hurting you and not acknowledging you in your full glory.
I have been half assed.
I can be better.
I have pushed you away and put you down.
I have failed to acknowledge your divine mission and place in my life.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
I clear, heal, transmute and transcend every projection, creation, paradigm and belief that was created from the wound, that was created from, in, for separation and lack.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
I clear heal, transmute and transcend the templates, creations and timelines created in, for, from fear.
I clear, heal, transmute and transcend anything and everything that was created to keep the masculine stuck, hurt, isolated and not in it's full power.
I clear, heal, transmute and transcend anything and everything that is not for our highest good, that isn't aligned with unity consciousness.
For pretending, wanting to fix, change, save you.
For stripping yourself if your power as I disowned my own.
For the iffy vibes, the unhealthy, the sneaky shit, the not high vibin, the wounding and hurt, the debris and fog I have brought…
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
With you, because of you, because of us…
I heal the masculine in me and the wounds it has brought to my life, because I cannot pretend to build union and anchor integration and unity consciousness if I don't do that within ALL parts of myself.
The demons must meet up with the angels, they are ready to remember that they are one of the same.
Dear divine masculine, I bow to you.
I love you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
For your mission, for your service, for your love…
For you.
All that you are.
I honor ALL that you are with all that I am.
Thank you.
I am ready, take me by the hand now, I picked up our crowns now, I dusted away the pain, I cleared away the fog and iffiness, I burned away the bs and games, the playing small and selling ourselves short.
The breaking of my heart was meant to be a breakthrough, thank you for showing me, thank you for loving me.
I'm back to myself, because I want to be back to you, with you.
Ready to rise.
I love you.
Namaste babe;)
