Hello

Jimin Zhou
Aug 28, 2017 · 3 min read

Well…this is new. Hello, whoever may be reading this. Welcome to a look into inside my head going into this new school year.

The past twelve months have been (for the lack of better words) eventful. I have experienced a sense of liberation that I have not felt in a long time — or ever perhaps. It took a little longer than expected but I think I am finally in a good place in life. I recently admitted to a friend that I played my cards too close to me chest; I never ventured too far out of my comfort zone and as a result I could not grow as much as a person as I wanted to. So that had to change, somehow.

I often watched on with envy as my friends and acquaintances embarked on adventures across the country and the globe. I watched them take off upon graduating from college and ascend into their careers. When my career did not follow suit, it was a crushing feeling: I was graduate with a jack-of-all-trades degree who could not land a single job. It pushed me to a dark spot where I felt absolutely useless and worthless. I felt like a disappointment in my parents’ eyes, especially seeing how much they had achieved and how much they had overcome. It fucking sucked, that’s for sure.

Flash-forward to now. I am enrolled as a graduate student in a great program with a fantastic PI. All of a sudden, I went from rock bottom to ascending out of the depths. There was work involved, but I think what helped was a change in perspective. For years, I had gone about tackling my life all wrong: I was living my life to suit the needs of someone who I had yet to meet, to support a family that was a figment of my imagination. It was like looking straight ahead while walking, and tripping over my own shoelaces. I was losing sight of the present while being so fixated on the future. This isn’t to say that YOLO mentality is the way to go; you still need to have an idea of what you want to be when you grow up — no matter how old you are right now.

As selfish as it seems, keeping your own interests as a priority is absolutely key. This is your life after all, and in the end you have to make sure that you are happy with it. People come and go from your life: they are guests, and you are the permanent resident.

Although you are the permanent resident, God is your landlord. My relationship with Him is almost like that of me and my father. My dad loves me, but he also likes to watch me struggle — in the sense that he wants me to overcome adversity. As stated so many times in Calvin and Hobbes, he believes that this builds character.

In the same way, I believe building my relationship with God helped lift me out of the abyss and bring me to where I am today. Sure, there are things that I do not agree with Him, but in the end He is there, and will continue to be there for years to come.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” — Joshua 1:9 NIV


So. Here I am. 2017–2018 school year is banging on the door and I am frantically trying to find all my supplies and mental capacities to prepare for it. This post has been a shitstorm of rambling. I hope I don’t come back to this later on and wonder why the fuck I decided to write this. To quote my beloved Shea Serrano (aka the Twitter king)

“You miss 100% of the shots you dont take — Wayne Gretzky” -Michael Scott

So I tell myself: Be brave. Be courageous. Explore everything that there is to offer, and work to build your best self.

JDZ

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